Little Shepard
by tantalus troupe
Summary: Shepard is found, but at what cost to the crew? As a new turn of events comes to life some to the crew begins looking on past events that had led to this moment. A tale of short stories as we follow down the rabbit hole of the Normandy crew and their soon to be second Shepard.
1. Positive

They had rushed the shuttle back to London as quickly as possible and when it landed the crew watched as they rushed a clean box with a body it inside. They had been in London only days after been stuck on a tropical planet. It had taken almost two weeks for them to find their way back to Earth and there had been still no sign of Shepard anywhere. Joker regretted taking off in the Normandy even though it was what she had wanted. he should have stayed for his Commander...been there for her when she need him, the crew.

The Nurses rushed the clear box into the Hospital and straight into the ER where Dr. Chakwas and Liara T'Soni had been waiting prepared to operate. They had found Shepard in the rubble of the Citadel that had crashed down in London. They weren't sure if she had fallen with the ship or if she was on the ground when it had crashed. No one had been sure but the body of The Illusive Man and ANderson had been found not far from hers. Joker watched from a glass screen as they pulled Shepard body from the tubes inside of the clear box and safely put her body on the surgical table. The room was bright as if the white tiles on the walls and floor had just been bleached white. Dr. Chakwas and Liara body wore extensive gear as they prepared themselves both taking a look at their Commander. Her face was covered in cuts but her she had a small smile on as if she was dreaming. Shepard had slow short breathes as a mask was put over her face to keep her under, her armor was cracked to the point that it was just falling off of her, and she was bleeding from both her left leg and arm. Joker couldn't watch anymore it was like when they had made it back to Earth in the Normandy. When they land the poor ship had just died and fallen apart barley even landing without them crashing. He remembered watching EDI empty cyborg body sitting in the corner of the room they had patched him up in when they came down to Earth. EDI was gone like most things after they took back Earth. Joker grabbed at his chest as he made his way down the hall. Intercoms were going off constantly for Doctors and nurses. People pushed past him s Joker limped his way down the hall watching the brightly bleach colored walls sawrm into darkness the more he thought of EDI. They way her eyes looked at her before they crashed, how she took hold of his hand telling him "I will always be with you." before it all ended. Joker pushed the thought of EDI so far back in his mind he hoped he had to never think about it again. The pain it gave him was too much for him to handle right now. He had lost the Normandy, EDI and almost Shepard.

"How is she?" Ashley asked standing up and rushing to Joker as he entered the waiting room. It was small and a awful shade of pink to make people waiting for those on their death beds feel happy in some way, shape, or form. The curtains by the window were bleach white like the tile floor with pictures around the room of watercolor paintings of Big Ben. Ashley had a concerned look as she put her hand on Jokers arm which he shook off. Joker never liked being touched especially by a general amount of people. James coughed slightly as he took up from the squeaky bright green waiting couch. Jack, Zaeed, and Kasumi were all gathered in the small room also waiting to hear the news.

"There examining her as we speak" Joker said removing his hat to scratch his head.

"Does she look...I mean.." Kasumi fumbled wither her words as she twisted and tugged at her black hood. Kasumi didn't want to say it, no one wanted to.

"She is in once piece, as much as you can be for someone who has been what she has been threw. All we have to do now is wait." Joker said giving out a large sigh and a shrug. "We don't know when she will be awake."

"Joker is right." Jack said pushing back her dark hair, "We can't do much waiting around here. We won't be any help to Shepard that way."

"You plan on leaving?" Zaeed said tapping the butt of his cigar as he tossed it out the small window in the room.

"N-No." Jack stuttered punching a nearby wall. "I just...what are supposed to do?" she shouted shaking her hand. Everyone watched the plaster flake off the wall in a circle of where her fist had met it.

"We just have to be patient." It was Ashley who spoke up her eyes were drifting out the window. Joker knew what she was looking at; The smoke never left the air of London something was always burning. Buildings were on fire, screams could be heard through the night of those who found their dead loved ones. A Reaper could be seen laying on its side crushing handful of homes. You could see a team of Alliance taking it apart slowly with as in the fear it would turn on magically.

A knock came from the door and Miranda and Liara had let themselves in let herself in. Miranda looked surprised to see so many people as she looked at each face, "I was just expecting just Joker." Miranda admitted.

"Ow Cheerleader not good enough?" Jack asked rolling her eyes. Miranda looked from Jack to the hole in the wall and scoffed, "It hasn't even been two days are you are already breaking walls?"

"Well excuse me you little cu-"

"Enough!" James shouted quieting both women. James looked exhausted, he hadn't slept much since they had come back. He paced along with Ashley and the rest of the crew waiting for word for anything. Alliance wouldn't let them leave, wouldn't let them help and it killed them all not to be there for Shepard. Jack grunted shover her hands into her pockets as Miranda smoothed her hair out."How is she?" James asked hopefully.

All eyes turned to Liara. She removed her blue mask from over her mouth. Her blue scrubs had blood all over it making everyone in the room feel uneasy. She didn't have eyes of hope, she looked around at each crew member with a look for sorrow and sickness.

"I am actually looking for Garrus. Dr. Chakwas wants to speak with him." Miranda said looking around ignoring the question, "Has anyone seen him?" she asked. But the look on everyones faces was the same. They awkwardly shifted from foot to foot trying to pretend the wall, or the floor was more interesting than each others eye contact.

"Bunch of pissants," Zaeed scoffed, "Try the Turian floor."

"Or the 'other species' floor." Jack muttered only to have Ashley run her elbow into her ribs.

"Yes well thanks." Miranda said mumbled before closing the door. Everyone looked around at each other with a slight wave of confusion.

"What do you think that was about?" Kasumi asked. Joker only shrugged he felt like if Miranda was hunting down Garrus no good could come from it.

A large sigh came from Liara as she made her way across the room sitting down on the squeaky couch. She looked tired and beaten and she crumbled the mask in her fist. Ashley moved across the room quickly and to Liaras side asking for someone to bring her water. It was Kasumi who left and came back as quickly as you could blink with a cold glass of water handing it to Liara. Liara just simply nodded as she sipped on the water. James sat on the coffee across from Liara as Joker had Jack help him hobble his way to the other couch.

When everyone was finally gathered around the Asari they were so quiet you could hear a needle drop. The air was thick with suspense and everyone could feel the inside of their chest tighten as they waiting for Liara to speak.

"She is suffering from a lack of substance which is not a surprise considering she was stuck in a dome of rubble. Shepard has a broken leg, fractured arm, and a dislocated shoulder." Liara gulped down the rest of her water, she had spit the words out so fast it made her dizzy. The entire room let out a sigh of relief.

"Broken bones can be fixed right? Slap come medi-gel on her?" Jack said taking her clenched fist that made her knuckles white and finally releasing it. A nod and a murmur when from each persons mouth as they looked around with hope. Broken bones could be fixed, fractures could heal, and sprains could go away. Shepard would live and she would live to see another day. It was Joker who looked not at the relief around the room, but at the concern on Liaras face.

"Liara shouldn't you be happy? You know, your tentacle hair dancing?" Joker asked. Liara looked up at him with her round big eyes like a puppy that did something wrong. She played with the mask in her hands fidgeting as her chest fell and risen in quick short breaths.

* * *

"Shepard is pregnant." Miranda was finally able to say, "Three months by Dr. Chakwas guess." If Turians had fleshy skin Garrus would have turned whiter than a the snow of Lorek. They were in the corner of a large waiting room filled to the brink with Turians. It was a section of the 7th floor that housed a majority of Turians that came in with injuries. Garrus fell into a rickety blue chair behind him putting his talons against his head. Miranda bent down getting eye level with the distraught Turian.

"Are you all right?" Miranda asked putting her hand on the Archangels shoulder. Garrus looked up his small blue eyes in a glass of water. Miranda had never see Garrus, let alone a Turian, look so upset.

"I'm fine." Garrus said in a low solemn tone putting his Talon over Mirandas hand removing it from his shoulder. They room around them seemed to grow quiet as Miranda tried to make haste of the situation at hand. Garrus mandibles twitched and flinched at everyone small breath he took his eyes glued at the floor.

"We just need to know what were up against. With a half turian child inside of her. Problems it might cause her body." Miranda said trying to hint at the urgency of the situation. Garrus mandibles stopped moving rapidly, his eyes blinking out of the fogged that had formed in front of them. Garrus looked up at Miranda with a puzzled looked that faded in seconds as he stood up. Miranda stood up as well watching the turian adjust his armor for a moment before looking at the human in the eyes.

"Why are you asking me?" Garrus finally said. His voiced sounded more strain now that a wave of emotions had finished beating him down. Miranda drew back for a moment putting her hand over her chest confused by the Turians words. Garrus had gone from confused, upset, and beaten in a matter of seconds. His eyes now gave a look of boredom, annoyed.

"How dare you." Miranda spat out trying not to shout as a few Turians made sideways glances at their direction. Smoothing her dark hair down Miranda cleaned her throat bringing her voice into a low tone. "You should be-"

"That isn't my child with Shepard Miss Lawson." Garrus said holding his talons up interrupting Miranda. "So excuse me for not giving a damn."


	2. Liara & Miranda

Shepard shook her head laughing a little to herself, "It sounds like you have tension...maybe I could help you get rid of it." she said purring the words almost as she pushed her body off of the cargo box she was sitting on striding her way towards Garrus across the room.

"Oh I didn't think you felt like Sparring Commander." Garrus said a little excited his tiny eyes brightening like stars.

Shepard laughed some more striding her way over to Garrus arms crossed over her chest. She leaned against the control panel where Garrus was so fixated on making his Calibrations. The room hummed and clattered with the noises of the ship but Shepard didn't mind the background noise. The quiet would have made her nervous and not bold enough with the Turian. "Why don't we skip right to the tie-breaker?" Shepard said the words as if they were covered in molasses. "We can test your reach and my flexibility." She added batting her eyes a little. Shepard wasn't much when it came to woo-ing or flirting and wearing Cerberus clothes didn't make her a wow-factor. It was her words she was good with, always thinking on her toes.

Garrus took a step back mumbling over the words caught in his throat. He began to fidget a little like he always did when he was trying to think of twenty things as once. "I never knew you had a thing for mens with scars." Garrus joked back at her. She could hear the curiosity in the back of his words. "Well, why the hell not? There is no one in this galaxy I respect more than you. If we can make it work then yeah defiantly."

Shepard shook her head amused by the words of the Archangel. "What do you mean 'if' Garrus?" she asked using her arms to push off from the control panel and toward him. Garrus pushed back until the door behind him closed by Shepard's command. "I just mean I want to get it right, no screw ups. I want to make sure it will work." he said sounded hurt by Shepard questioning him. Shaking her head her brown hair moving like a skirt in the wind around her head she began to unzip the front of her suit exposing her undergarments as she let the suit fall to the ground in two easy steps she was out of it.

"S-Shepard." Garrus gulped a little by his growls after his words said otherwise to the uneasy look in his eyes. He took Shepard by the hand and pulled her to his direction until she was against him. He picked her up in a quick easy motion and she wrapped her legs around his cold beaten armor. Garrus sat her down on his desk in the left corner of the room as he ran his mouth down her neck. Every part of his said to take it slow, but the burning sensation inside them both said don't stop and keep going. Garrus was never one to ignore his gut especially when Shepard began removing what little articles of clothing covered her. She took his talon instructing him where to slowly rub it against between her legs as she began pressing every right button to removing his armor. She called his name in the softest tone that could put babes to sleep. Next thing Garrus knew he was naked, his exoskeleton exposed to his Commander officer. It made her groan in a way he had never head before except in vids. His talon still rubbing on the heat and flesh between her legs as he felt her grow impatient. Her breast bounced and moved with the motion of her body pale and pink in ways he never imagined. Shepard took her hand moving it under the hard skeleton between his legs. Clearly she had already looked into way to coax a turians member out from is exo-skin. She moved her mouth to his neck biting and kissing until she reached his face kissing him in the most passionate way possible. His shell between his legs shifted exposing the more sensitive part of his body and Shepard took it in her hand with a slight squeal. She moved her hands in forward and backward thrusts quickly and efficiently causing the Turian to make moans and cries at her back and call. When he made eye contact with her both panting heavily filled with a heat that would not die he saw the fire in her bright green eyes, wicked.

* * *

"He did not." Dr. Chakwas gasped. She was sitting in a small dark room that observed into a surgical room where Shepard was laying fast asleep. She had tubes shooting into her right and left arms and legs. She looked like she was possibly dreaming with a soft smile on her face, she was somewhere far away in her mind. Miranda nodded silently as she watched a asari nurse pace around the Commanders body looking at her vitals. The small room the hosted her and the doctor was a two swivel chairs and two computers showing all life and signs inside of the Commander, in one had her vitals the other the child that was forming inside of her. Liara was leaning against the back wall a gold glass of water against her head with her eyes closed. She had been working extensively in the hospital and not taken a second to stop since Shepard's body had arrived.

"Well we can already tell by some of the work that indeed the baby is human." Dr. Chakwas said looking at some of her paper charts in front of her that just kept printing from a printer in the wall. "How is this possible. No child could survive anything that Commander Shepard has been facing. Husks, Reapers, a crash like that would have...she would have..." Dr. Chakwas couldn't even finish the sentence. Lost the baby, was the words she wanted to say.

"Well, I am sure our friends at Cerberus who brought her back from the brink could answer some question." Liara said removing the cold glass from her head and drinking from it. Her eyes and the eyes of the doctor were on Miranda now who didn't skip a beat to answer. Crossing her legs and positioning her chair to face both women Miranda let out a large sigh before beginning. "During the Lazarus Project I was able to make it so that Commander Shepard was able to pro-create. If I was able to bring her body back from almost nothing then I was going to give her the chance to create life again. I knew the chances though with giving her a strong more durable body and knew that with Shepard coming back she would be able to carry... safety." Miranda treaded around the words.

"Did you instal a shield in her womb?" Dr. Chakwas scoffed spinning her chair so her back was facing Miranda. Miranda wasn't hurt by her words and neither insulted by them. "I gave her a chance that if Shepard ever pro created she could have the baby with no harm coming to it." Miranda spat her words back forgetting to be careful.

"It is inhuman." Dr. Chakwas turned around her eyes wild with anger. Liara walked over getting between both women before something became of it.

"The child is safe, healthy even. It looks like she is actually four months barley showing even." Liara added making eye contact with Dr. Chakwas. "We should be praising the goddess for that." Liara gave Dr. Chakwas a good long look before turning her eye contact to Miranda, "What did Garrus say after that?"

Miranda looked form Liara to Dr. Chakwas the look of anger still plastered on her face. The women didn't understand just yet what Miranda had done but overtime she would understand what her precautions had saved. Miranda kept a child inside of their Commander alive by being picky and making sure that in some future Shepard legacy would be safe. Even when she was working on it the Illusive Man thought her a fool. _"It could never be Shepard." _he had told her. _IT_ is what he would always call it the two years. Before Shepard was even awake again with a chance to pro create. The mere idea had seem silly to The Illusive Man. Not to Miranda however and now she thanked herself for all these years for making such a idea real.

"He said just to let him know when Shepard was awake. That was it." Miranda shrugged as if it was nothing.

"How can he do such a thing?" Liara asked putting the glass to her lips again her eye contact had moved to the surgical room as the Trio watched the small breathes that came from Shepards body and a small bump forming in her stomach.

"How did none of us know?" Dr. Chakwas asked not hiding the sadness in her voice. Liara put her hand on the older womans shoulder trying to find some other way to comfort her. Miranda got up making her way over to the other side of Dr. Chakwas. The Doctor looked up at her with a small pain of sadness as she looked back at their sleeping Commander. "What is important is getting Shepard awake, fluids in her for the child, and healed." Dr. Chakwas said taking a set of scrubs hanging over her chair and heading out the door to continue working. This left Liara and Miranda alone in the room with the printer that never stopped throwing up information.

"I had a hunch." Liara finally said breaking the Silence and the duo sat down in the chairs watching the computer screens flicker more Vital signs.

"Did you?" Miranda said a little surprised. Liara just gave Miranda a look as if she was saying 'Am I really that Stupid?' to her. Miranda tilted her head back laughing.

"You knew." Liara said it and Miranda nodded in agreement.

"I had a hunch." She replied propping her head up by her hands on the desk.

"Do you know who the father is? If it isn't Garrus." Liara asked hopeful but Miranda shook her head in disagreement, "By the goddess. Those two were going strong since Cerberus." Liara gave out a exhausted sigh taking another sip from her glass of water.

"Never judge appearances T'Soni." Miranda wiggled her finger at the Asari. "Shepard may not even know."


	3. Garrus & Shepard

_She leaned against the wall as an old Jacket slapped her across the face. She had every right to go and slap it right back but then she remember that Jacket was not the real monsters here. Shepard was surprised her Jacket had been hung up and not throw on the floor like the trash of this situation. She felt the large piece of armor she was sitting on making her ass fall asleep as she breathed in mothballs and stuffy air. Her hair stuck to the back of her neck like a blanket and she wanted to just take a nice cold shower. God the sound of a shower seemed just so great at this point she could wipe away everything about this night that touched her. Clicking her boots together she rolled her eyes to the noise outside the closet door Shepard could sleep she knew that but that constant 'Are you sure?' 'Are you positive' made her want to punch someone in the face. That and the thumping. It came and went, the thumping and the awkward moans. Shepard wondered if it was like this every time or if this was the first time? She prayed to God it wasn't. Finally footsteps could be heard leaving and she waited._

_It was 30 minutes later when Shepard finally opened the door herself to find that she was alone in the room. The cold hair made her gasp like she had never had breathed right in her life. She held her hand over her chest feeling her heart-moving at a steady past as she tried to collect herself. She grabbed the end of her brown hair and pulled it up into a pointy tail feeling how sopping wet it was from her own sweat. Shepard looked around at the room, the bed was a mess but that was just it. That was the only thing out-of-place was a messy bed. Grabbing her leather black N7 jacket from the closet she dared not go in again she felt something in the pocket. Ruffling through the jacket she found the right pocket pulling out a tube of deep red lipstick Ashley had convinced her to buy because it was apparently 'her color' as Tali had put it. What would she know though? That simple minded child, Shepard thought gripping the lipstick she popped the cap off of it making her way to the large Mirror that was above the bed. She bounced of the bed for a couple of minutes before getting as still as possible to apply the lipstick. Smacking her lips a couple times before bouncing off the bed. __Shepard grabbed her trench coat off the ground and slid it over her self making sure it was closed tightly. She didn't bother with her shoes as her bare feet left the small room and hit the cold floor of the hall tile with Jacket in hand._

* * *

Shepards eyes opened slowly. The light in the room was too bright she squinted letting the brightness past her eyelids dim down a little before trying to open them again. When she did she looked up, expecting to be dead, to be seeing God or God Hanar. Plaster tiled roof is what she had gotten instead. Her breaths became short and quick she began to panic. Her eyes searched around and all she heard were beeps and the sound of machines. Fear swept over her as she began to tug her arms that didn't move. She could feel the needles inside of her and it only caused her to freak out even more. Shepard began to scream. A scream that came deep from inside of her so deep she didn't even know. A hand took hold of her arm and she stopped shaking furiously. Liara looked over her like a angel wearing medical mask with light behind her blue asari head.

"Shepard." Liara said in a voice that could calm waves. A voice that had always brought Shepard back from the brink of insanity. "I need you to remain calm." Liara said. The beeping in the back ground began to come to a slower beat. No longer raging like Shepards cries. Another look around from her blinding rage and Shepard realized that she was in a white room, white walls, and white floors.

"Where am I?" Shepard said in a panic tone.

"Earth Shepard." Liara put her hand on the Commanders shoulder, "Now I need you to stay calm because I am trying to fix your broken leg Commander. Can you stay still?" Shepard just nodded and nothing else escaped her mouth. Liara put a mask over Shepards face and as she waved goodbye to her Commander Shepard could feel herself floating away as her tunnel vision of the white room began to disappear.

Garrus watched from the observation room. His eyes moving from Liara to Shepard he leaned over the desk his talons tapping quickly and impatiently. It was when she woke up that he froze unable to move. Her eyes searched the room and he could tell she didn't know where she was. The fear over her face made him scared for her as he pressed his talons against the glass. For the first time since he could remember he looked at her and wanted it all gone for her. Her trashing made him fear for her knowing it could not be good for her human heart. He saw the fear, the confusion and all he really wanted was for her to be okay. It wasn't until Liara took her hold on Shepard did the Commander calm down, the instant sight of the Asari made her calm down in ways he never knew.

Before Garrus knew it the mask was back on Shepards face and she was asleep once more. The wave of fear he had for her and need to comfort her left as quickly as it came. Shepard didn't need him anymore. He looked at the bump forming in her stomach and it made some part of his heart melt in a way he didn't know it could. He knew there was a chance it was his after all it had only been a couple Earth months since the time they did...

The chances were still low and when Shepard woke up he knew she had more than a lot to explain to him.

* * *

_Shepard watched Garrus hook on the last piece of his armor. He adjusted it the best way possible grunting all the way until the last piece was hooked on. He sighed looking down at the bed at his grinning Commander. She was naked minus the blanket wrapped around her body like a thin long dress. He gushed slightly at the sight of her, she was beaming with joy biting her damn lip like she did when she was thinking of the things she wanted to do. He was growing to know her faces: When she was excited, nervous, horny, and happy. Her face was glowing and he knew it glowed when it was with him. Garrus had a knot growing inside of his stomach the words he wanted to say to her. How beautiful she looked now, how the very few times she smiled it made him feel. How she, in general, made him feel._

_It was that night when he thought she was toying around a one night stand that he began to grow those feelings towards her. Garrus had been the first team-mate she picked up and he had been on every mission since. He stood by her at Horizon when Ashley spat at her face and now here they sat in her room. It had been like this the same after every mission; Garrus followed his way after Shepard onto the Normandy and down the Elevator. EDI would remind him each time that he did not have clearance and each time Shepard would override her and let him come up. They would fool around, watch vids, sneak food up to the room, and he would read her horrible Human poetry to poke fun at. It was clockwork: Mission, Shepard Quarters, and had come into a wonderful rhythm of time with each other and their bodies. Garrus never use to be attracted this much to a human, he did find their bodies infatuating and much like the asari. With Shepard it was because she a strong independent woman. She didn't play by the rules and she was never weak. Shepard made Garrus feel like he could be that to his people;a leader. _

_"Garrus?" Shepard asked for the fourth time, "Is everything alright?"_

_"Yes sorry Com-Shepard." Garrus said correcting himself, he felt weird calling her his Commander now. "I was just thinking."_

_"About what?" Shepard tilted her head to the side snuggling with her pillow. To Garrus she looked so innocent if he didn't know her he would believe so. In reality she was rather wicked and had wicked thoughts. He sat down on the bed next to her as her innocence left her face. Bitting her lip and the seductive look in her eyes she made haste into his lap her naked body feeling warm in his talons. _

_"I need to get back down and work on my calibrations." Garrus protested but Shepard only snickered wrapping her legs around him._

_"Five more minutes?" She pleaded in a seductive voice as she ran her fingers along his markings. Garrus let out a sigh giving in, he always gave in because she was vindictive and he loved it. Not playing by the rules with Shepard had become more fun than actually working on his calibrations. Garrus pulled Shepard away from the marks she was making in his neck._

_"You know I love you?" Garrus blurted._

_"Wh-What?" Shepards eyes expanded._

_"I-I love you." He stuttered. "You are brilliant, smart, beautiful, and I don't know Shepard maybe I am moving too fast but I have these feelings for you and-" Shepard cut off the Turian with a deep and passionate kiss, a kiss where he tasted her and breathed in her scent. "I love you too, you crazy Turian." she said wrapping her arms around his neck._


	4. Garrus & Shepard II

Shepard just let her eyes openly slowly as she shook her head pushing away the applesauce in the bowl in front of her on her lap. The nurse persisted until Shepard to pain the walls with the clumpy sauce. The nurse finally nodded taking the sauce and leaving the room. From the look out the window of Shepards private room she could tell it was morning possibly 8 a.m. but she wasn't too keen on time on Earth she had been gone so long. Her body was sore and moving felt like how you did after working out all day, it annoyed her that she wasn't healed yet.

A knock came from the door and slowly opened as Ashley let herself in. The young girl stood at the end of the hospital bed gripping in as she studied her Commander for a moment trying to figure out if this was real.

"Williams." Shepard said in a serious tone but with a large tired grin. That was when the tears flowed down her face and as she wiped them away made herself to the bedside of Shepard giving a hug that could knock the wind out of her. Shepard hugged her back patting her on her shoulder letting her know she was okay. Ashley took a moment to fall into the chair next to Shepard bed and collect herself.

"You were gone." she sniffled wiping her face.

"I'm back now." Shepard reminded her putting her hand on her shoulder.

Ashley nodded agreeing with her words, "How are you doing?" she asked.

* * *

_Shepard eyes hurt when she blinked she had been staring at her Datapad for so long. Every line she scrolled past had been becoming a blur she had trouble focusing on the words they started floating off the screen._

_"Commander Shepard. Garrus Vakarian would like access from the elevator into your personal quarters. Would you like me to unlock the doors for him?" EDI's floating head popped up by the door._

_"EDI for the last time Garrus does not need my permission to enter my quarters you can let him in anytime he wants." Shepard reminded the AI._

_"Apologies Commander but I am not allowed to give any personal aboard the Normandy access to your Quarters unless it is personal Dr. Chakwas, in case of a emergency, or The Illusive Man." EDI reported._

_"That...that makes me uneasy." Shepard said not looking up form her data pad. "Let Garrus through."_

_"Affirmative. Anything else Commander?" EDI asked._

_"That'll be all EDI." Shepard replied hearing the doors to her Quarters open. Garrus strolled into the Cabin as if he owned it putting his helmet at the floor by the fish tank pressing the button that fed the starving fish. As the food particles fell from the top of the tank the fish swam so fast fighting each other for pieces it looked like they would just eat each other._

_"You should really feed them more often." Garrus reminded Shepard who just nodded her eyes not moving from the constant scrolling of words on her datapad. Garrus moved over to the table and he realized how messy Shepard could be. She had five piles of papers each with sticky notes with scribbled horrible penmanship on top of them. Garrus looked around realizing the rest of her quarters looked like her desk: a huge mess. Her armor was thrown everywhere her guns on unclean cloths by her bed like she had been working on them, her bed had never been made, and papers scattered the bedside like she had been writing a novel. He looked at his lover and her eyes had not even looked up to meet him, she had bags under her eyes dark like humans got form lack of sleep and her hair looked unkept. The top of her brunette hair was flat form her helmet and the bottom wild like a windstorm._

_"All this information I have been getting from Liara from the Shadow Broker base." Shepard exhaled. "It is amazing." Garrus put his talons over the datapad causing Shepard to look up at him with foggy green eyes. "Hi."_

_"Hi." Garrus said back. "Remember when you were supposed to grab food with me on the Citadel?" he asked. _

_Shepard nodded putting down the datapad, "Yes once we land."_

_"We landed three hours ago." Garrus told her leaning against her desk. _

_Shepard blinked for a moment before rising from her chair, "Wait what? No on-"_

_"Joker called up here and said you said 'okay' answering him." Garrus interrupted her. "EDI did as well and said you were aware." Shepard rubbed her index finger over the her temples closing her eyes trying to think. _

_"That was what those interruptions were." Shepard mumbled._

_"Interruptions?" Garrus scoffed, "I've been waiting at the restaurant for hours Shepard." Garrus said his voice rising. Shepard pushed back her wild hair muttering under her breath and her stupidity. Garrus shook his head, "You do this you know."_

_"Do what?" Shepard asked crossing her arms._

_"Forget that the world keeps moving. Forget about me. This isn't the first or fourth time you have forgotten COmmander." Garrus reminded her. _

_"I'm sorry look I'll make it up to you." Shepard lit up her omi-tool, "I can find new reservations-"_

_"That is not the point Shepard!" Garrus band his fist on the table knocking over a pile of papers. He took a deep breath tapping his talons on the glass table ignoring his mess. "You can't apologize, bat your big human eyes, and try to get me into bed to fix it." His voice sounded tired, tired of fighting, tired of doing this over and over. He never knew that dating a human could be so much work._

_Shepard moved her hand over Garrus talons"I love you." Shepard pleaded again. _

_"Do you?" Garrus asked pulling his talon away._

* * *

"Shut the fuck up Miranda I know turians and humans can't have babies don't treat me like an idiot!" Jack smacked James on the back of the head, "That is what I get for having you put me up to asking."

"Well I figured if she made a super vagina-"

"Don't call it that." Miranda interrupted. "I brought Shepard back from the dead. I am not a miracle worker."

"Well what is the difference?" Jack asked.

Miranda rolled her eyes, "You don't understand-"

"Hey guys?" Shepard asked. "Not that I don't mind you all talking about really great vagina but if you could stop that would be great." she waved from her bed.

"Sorry Commander." Everyone said in unison.

Shepard shook her head looking out the window. "I'm no Commander, I have no ship."

A silence came into the room like a wave crashing. She had only been awake half a day and the amount of visitors she had made her exhausted and more aware of the state she was in. Shepard was tired, her body felt weak, and throwing up happened more than the food they forced into her through tubes. 'For the baby' everyone kept telling her. Shepard looked around the room and realized how awkward she had made everyone feel. Luckily a knock came at the door and it was Liara bringing in a tray of food. Liara took one look at Shepard and her eyed begun to fill with tears.

"No." Shepard shook her head. "What did I tell you?"

"I can't see you unless I get ahold of my emotions." Liara recited like you recite poetry putting the tray in front of Shepard, "How are you feeling?"

"Sore, Nausea, Pain, Tired, Stressed, and Annoyed." Shepard listed the things as she pushed around the food in front of her. Hospital food had never been her thing even back on Earth where everything was fresh it still was not as fresh as it should be. The but up pieces of turkey swimming in a thick almost black gravy made her think of dying dinosaurs and her appetite was gone in seconds. Her room was powdery pink with white stripes that matched the same white of the floor and ceiling. Her room was private and large with two couches, a table, and a closet. They had her hooked up to so many machines the beeping never stopped it was something she could even hear when she wasn't aware about what was going on. Since waking up they wouldn't let her leave her room or even get up. She had her own bathroom which she thought was a door to leave the first time she tried to escape. Now Dr. Chakwas tried to force as many visitors on her to keep her in her bed.

"You are supposed to keep your stress down it is bad for the baby." Liara reminded her.

"Thanks honey." Shepard said jokingly causing Liara to blush. "Speaking of honey, has anyone seen Hackett?" Shepard asked.

"What do you mean 'sepaking of'?" Jack asked.

"What do you mean 'Honey'?" James chimed in.

"Hackett is down in ground zero, he said he will try to come by later this week. Things are bad out there Shepard." Miranda answered.

"I know that is why I am trying to make heads of what needs to be done." Shepard said non chalant as if they were't trying to rebuild after a horrible war. Everyone exchanged a look and Shepard knew that look. Everyone had been keeping her out of the loop on everything happening since she woke up and it made her angry. She had done everything to keep this from happening and given up everything but still she was the girl who cried Reaper. Even her team wouldn't tell her like she was a outsider. It was her stress and the baby everyone was worried about as if she as a person was a shell carrying it. On her bedside table was a large stack of baby books Dr. Chakwas had 'borrowed' from a Library that was half burned to the ground and just looking at them made her tired. "Tell Hackett to make me a priority." Shepard told Miranda who got up and within two seconds was already headed out the door.

"Good to see you barking orders again." James taunted crossing his legs on the couch. The stink eye that Shepard was giving him made James shoot up like a rocket muttering a apology from his throat. The door to the room swung open but no human came through but a large button eyed creature. In two swift motions Shepard grabbed a pistol from only god knew where as if it had appeared from thin air as she shot towards to the door. An alarm from behind her bed began beeping so loud it echoed in the room.

"Jesus!" The large Brown bear said from the door with a large felt bowtie and a now shot off left ear. It wasn't the bear speaking it was the man holding it as Joker poked his head around finally making his way into the room. Joker limped his way over to Shepard's bedside sitting the bear in a arm chair by her bedside table as he leaned against it gasping for breath. A smile spread across Shepard's face and she closed her eyes for just a moment picturing every time she had seen that pilots chair spin around.

"Joker." Shepard opened her eyes smirking at the bear.

"Commander." Joker nodded back putting his hand out and Shepard shook it, "I never believed that you could stay dead."

"Either did I Joker, can't get rid of me just yet." Shepard joked letting go of his hand. The sound of shoes came tapping down the hall so quickly Shepard didn't have time to let her reflexes kick in. Dr. Chakwas came in her hair wild and sticking out and as she smoothed it into place she looked at the large bear, the hole in the wall, and the gun Shepard tried to put under her pillow.

"Out." Dr. Chakwas demanded. James, Joker, and Jack almost fought each other to be the first ones out of the room not wanting to hear more of the icy tone in the womans voice anymore. Dr. Chakwas wiggled her finger at Liara T'Soni, "Shame Liara."

Liara held up her hand in defense, "I had nothing to do with this I was just bringing in food she still won't eat." Liara tried pinning the anger toward her Commander's direction. Dr. Chakwas shook her head making her way to the end of Shepard's bed. "Shepard. I need you to relax."

"I am." Shepard protested.

"If you were the machine that handles that would not be beeping like a alarm." Dr. Chakwas gripped the end of the bed making Shepard tuck her naked feet under the blanket. She took long deep breaths trying to push out the thought that a plush bear was a Reaper.

* * *

_"Garrus." Shepard stumbled into the Gun Battery room leaning against the door._

_"Can it wait? I am in the middle of the calibrations." Garrus muttered not turning his back to her. Shepard closed the doors behind her swishing her hips back and forth into the other side of the control panel. Garrus looked up to see his girl wearing a tight black halter dress her breast exposed in the best way. "How was the mission with Kasumi."_

_"I blew up a helicopter." Shepard beamed but Garrus looked back down at the controls seemingly unimpressed by her words. Shepard pouted putting her hand over Garrus. "Garrus..." she called to him softly._

_"I'm sorry." Garrus paused unable to move, to pull himself away from her. "About the other night. I didn't mean to yell or say you didn't have feelings for me and storm out. I didn't mean to say it was over and that I was done with you...or break your fish tank." Shepard bit the inside of her mouth wanting to interrupt but she didn't. Garrus had paused however because he had been expecting her to interrupt. "I know it has been awkward and strange and neither of have know what to say but I wouldn't have put everything on the line if I didn't think we could do it. I want to do everything right, be right for you. I want this to go well. I just want to do right by you."_

_"You told me I only think about myself, I'm a renegade, and -"_

_"And nothing." Garrus interrupted looking up at her for the first time in a long while. "This can work."_

_"Garrus..."_

_"We have to make this work. We have to." he pleaded but to Shepard it sounded more like a demand._

* * *

Garrus stood at the door and no noise was coming from inside but the beeps and hums from machines. She was probably sleeping, she was probably out cold and wouldn't hear him knock. A nurse from inside opened the door startled to see the tall turian standing their not moving.

"Oh! Commander you have another visitor." The nurse said delighted leaving the room with a tray of food that looked like a a volcano created out of human white mushy food. The nurse ushered him in closing the door behind her and there he was, only feet from her. She looked so fragile her skin so pale it made her freckles look darker. Her brown her up in a uniformed bun surrounded by books, all human baby books as he could tell by the pictures on the outside of laughing children. Shepard looked up at him and her expression didn't change from how studious she had been hovering over those books. She studied him for a moment watching him shift around in his formal clothes.

"Garrus Vakarian: Alive." Shepard noted as she took a notepad from the side table. Taking a sharpie by her bed she checked off a item before putting it back down. "They won't tell me what is going on so anyone who visits I am keeping track of those I know who have died or survived." she explained.

"I didn't ask." Garrus told her which she replied with just a rolling of her eyes. "I see dying hasn't changed you."

"Never did the first time." Shepard reminded him watching his face fall in the shadows of the room. The room was dark minus the lamps by the doors on the florescent ceilings above. It was night now and outside the window the only lights were emergency ones from all the corners of London.

"How can you treat all of this like it was nothing?" Garrus blurted out.

Shepard tugged down her N7 tank top. "Garrus I had Ashley, Liara, and my mother come in crying and I have only been awake today. I am sort of getting numb to this welcome back."

"When were you going to tell me Shepard?" Garrus asked. "Everyone keeps asking me if we planned this, everyone keeps asking me who the surrogate is."

Shepard looked at him a little surprised by what he was saying. "Tell? You?" Shepard asked a little confused, "I'm sorry that would mean we are together Garrus." she said. Garrus put his talons together pacing at the end of her bed for a moment as if the next words he had needed to be tread on carefully.

"Shepard I want to be th-"

"That would mean we were actually together by choice and no by force." She interrupted her voice rising in pitch. "That would mean that this dating hasn't been a ploy but it really has been. I fucked someone Garrus. I did and I am pregnant and yes we were dating." Shepard said oputting all her cards out on the table not hiding her words anymore.

"Don't do this Shepard. Don't say things you just..you don't know..." Garrus stumbled over his words trying to find the right ones but it wasn't happening.

"Lets be honest this has no been what you wanted for a long time. Do not try to be a knight and do the right thing. Do not try to be the hero by staying. I am not doing this anymore." Shepard said her words now shouts. The door opened without a knock and Joker has let himself in carrying a box that rattled as he limped in. One look at the anger on Shepard's face and the stone cold no emotion on Garrus he knew he had come in at a bad time the same as when he brought the bear.

"Get out." Shepard said her eyes not moving from Garrus.

"Okay." Joker said as if she asked him to pick something from the floor.

"Not you. Him." Shepard jabbed her finger towards Garrus. The turian looked at her longingly for a moment before a grunt came from his mouth and he stormed out slamming the door behind himself. Joker moved over to her bedside putting the box in her lap as the machines began beeping as a sign of emergency. Shepard finally yelped at she ripped the cords from her arm.

"I still don't get why you asked me to bring your N7 hoodie, pants, and boots." Joker asked turning his back as Shepard got out of the bed taking off her scrub pants and exchanging them for her black straight pants from the box. When he heard the noise of boots hitting the floor he turned around.

"Now this is the Commander I know." he exclaimed throwing his hands in the air. Shepard looked like how she did in the Normandy, her boots, her pants, and her N7 hoodie worn with pride. "Uh Commander..." he pointed to her arm which was dripping blood from ripping out the cords to her body. Shepard shook her arm the blood dripping on the floor and splattering on the bed.

"I'll be fine it'll stop. Did you bring me a med pack?" she asked by Joker was already tossing it to her. Shepard put the med pack in hoodie pocket as she grabbed a couple sheets from her bed and began ringing them out. Joker watched her move diligently and efficiently as if she had never died before, like all of this was nothing to her. At the same time he knew what was happening and she didn't have to say anything he was helping her escape.

* * *

"She is just infuriating." Garrus mandibles twitched wildly as he sat down at a cot in the corner of the room.

"Wouldn't you be happier staying somewhere else? The turians have taken some Alliance housing a few block down. You don't need to stay here." Liara reminded him. She had found him outside the ward to Shepard's room and kicking a wall while she balanced another tray of food for Shepard on her hip.

"I know I know." Garrus waved her off but he knew she was just trying to help. He knew that she was just trying to be there and support him but no support was helping. Shepard had been right, it wasn't his kid and she wasn't her hero. Shepard never needed a hero and he certainly couldn't be that anymore.

"You two have been together a long time, just give her some time and some space. I'm sure everything will be figured out." Liara reassured him.

"T'Soni it isn't mine. This isn't planned, there is no surrogate, this was Shepard's choice and now she will live with it like I will. We were dating, she got pregnant, and it isn't mine. That is all that there is to it." Garrus boomed he could feel the walls shaking around him. His breathing grew heaving and murmurs of nurses and other rooms began to onlook at the turians behavior. Liara put her hand on Garrus he only moved away from her reach. "I am sorry Liara."

"Don't be. Up until a couple week ago none of knew she was alive. None of knew months ago what would even happen to our galaxy." Liara reassured him. At the same time she thought about their relationship and how personally she had seen it. When Shepard would visit her on the Shadow Broker base she could tell she was putting on a smile but kept telling her over and over, _"We are great really doing so well." _She would put on this face and Liara knew her better than that but she Shepard would just tell everyone they were doing great. Now that the world was no longer in peril that is when the truth really comes out.

"People do a lot of mad things when they think the world is ending Liara reminded him before walking away.


	5. Tali & Garrus

_Tali never noticed how they were so alike. He would fidget with his talons the same way she did with her fingers when she was nervous. He sutured when he was falling over his own self to get his words out about how he felt. He didn't use to be like this with her. He didn't use to stuttered around her. But here he was sipping his turian drink telling her about his new job as official 'Turian who knows Reapers' on Palaven and he was getting nervous. They both got nervous so easily but over time she noticed it more and more._

_"So Tali..." Garrus began putting down his up of orange liquid and she her green quarian drink, "We have both know each other a long time."_

_"Yes?" Tali asked her heart skipping a little._

_"I just...I want you to know..." Garrus became lost in his words staring out watching the cars fly by the citadel cafe they were sitting outside on. "I appreciate that you and I have kept contact with everything."_

_She knew what he meant with Shepard grounded. It had been awhile now with her gone and no one had heard from her. They had scattered like they did when she died those many years ago but this time Garrus kept in contact with her. She always enjoyed his company even when he was joking around and they were play arguing. She was not normally attracted to Turians especially ones with scars but with Garrus she had realized over time through their comm chats how charming he was. He was going through a lot with Shepard. Yes, didn't really talk about it but she knew. They used to be joined at the hip always making their way to Shepards quarters it seemed like a honey moon phase. Garrus wasn't on as many missions and when they were together you could feel the tension. Tali shook it off before it rooted in her mind. Thinking that way was no way to think. Garrus was Shepards and that is how it would always be._

_"How is she?" Tali forced herself to ask._

_"I wouldn't know they won't let me speak to her...but I haven't really tried." he admitted. _

_"Really?" she tried not to perk up at the fact he hadn't been checking up on her._

_"I would rather not talk about it right now if that is alright." Garrus put his hand out putting it over Tali's. "Can we talk about something else?" he asked._

* * *

Joker leaned against the concrete wall as the rain sprinkled onto his windbreaker like dust. He gripped the collar around his neck looking at the night sky. Normally he bet you could see all the dead stars in the sky but there was so much smoke that what had been the point at looking at the sky? It had become depressing. He should be up their in the stars flying from danger, picking up his teammates, killing the bad guys. No, for now he was grounded. Being grounded felt worse than death and without his right side woman...Jokers heart physically hurt when he thought of EDI not being there with him to make joke or make him feel better. She was supposed to be there til the end with him and now she was just gone. Gone like she never existed. The sound of retching stopped and Shepard came from the alley wiping her mouth as Joker handed her a mint which she politely took thanking him.

"It is the meds." she said popping the mint her mouth.

"Uh-Huh." Joker nodded. He wasn't stupid he knew it was the baby he pointed at her stomach and Shepard looked down, even in her hoodie she was beginning to show even just a little. Shepard put her hand over her stomach rubbing it for a moment as they walked down the dim lit streets. "What to talk about it?" he asked.

Shepard shook her head, "If it is alright with you I'd rather not. I've had enough people asking about it for one day. My stomach has been very popular." she said with pride beaming.

"Wait til you get your morning glow!" Joker exclaimed batting his eyes as he hobbled along side Shepard with his cane. "How long til they notice that you are gone?" he asked.

"I'm sure they noticed by now." Hackett interrupted the duo putting the umbrella over Shepards head as the rain fell harder. "Come inside. Your debauchery can wait."

* * *

_Garrus was busy with his calibrations when a data pad went flying and hit him._

_"You bosh'tet!" Tali yelled storming into the room. Garrus got up from what he was working on letting out a loud sigh. He had known for some reason that Tali would make her way back to the Normandy just like he did. He knew Shepard had gone to the Far Rim with Ashley and James but that was the last he had hear. Their pillow had not been the same since her show leave._

_"Tali I can explain..." Garrus picked up the data pad trying to hand it back but Tali kept her arms crossed. "Wait what am I explaining to you?" he swiped the data pad from Garrus hands turning it on._

_"Lets see as yes 'Mr Vakarian!' " Tali exclaimed loudly as she read a article, " 'You and Shepard have become the talk since her return from death. The biggest news was before her shore leave when you spoke to Khalisah Sinan al-Jilani when Shepard had first returned to the Citadel taking back her Spectre status. You told Khalisah Sinan al-Jilani about your cross species and start crossed love that brought our listeners to the edge of their seats. You fights together across the galaxy against all evil have proven to be one of the greatest love stories we have ever heard. How are you dealing with Shepard on shore leave and your separation? So many of our listeners are supporting this love cross breed relationship and want to know how the Turian is holding up?' and wait it says here 'We are doing our best. I am being strong for the both of us.' "_

_"Tali...I can explain." Garrus said ducking as Tali chucked the datapad at him again and went flying past him smashing against the wall._

_"You told me.." Tali realized how loud she was being and brought her voice down to a low tone, "Those times together...and you were seeing her... Garrus you told me things were over and done. How could you do this to me?" Tali pleaded for a answer and as Garrus moved towards her she back away. He didn't need to see her face to know how upset she was._

_"When we got back from Palaven...Shepard and I.. she wanted to make things work. So we have been working on things." Garrus tried to explain but didn't know how. He knew Shepard was fearing the end of days and he knew that they had broken up after the Collector base. Shepard said she wanted to make things work but he knew it was because she was beginning to feel alone. Even now with her things were not the same, Shepard was distant and still off in her own head. She said she had changed and become better and not so rebellious and trigger ready like she had been with her new found Cerberus freedom away from law. Shepard shut out everyone when it came to personal matters. Commander Shepard was fun, would buy you drinks, and a damn hell of a leader. As a partner in a relationship she was missing those key components that he had found in Tali. Tali was by his side when Shepard was grounded and sent to Earth, she was compassionate, sweet, giving, loving, carefree even in the times of war, and emotionally stable. Tali always sent him messages when they were apart making time to get on a comm system to speak to him. Their times on the Citadel when they would meet up in a room. They way her hips moved, the way she called his name, and the way she embraced him made him feel whole._

_With Shepard it was quick, she tried to leave any sensual component out. No holding each other after, no longing looks. He knew he should not compare them he knew how wrong that was and all of this way. He had always had a spot for Shepard but Tali made his body feel alive. He knew he words had been richly taken out of context in those interviews but when it first happened Shepard didn't mine. 'Hell, I have some of the worst publicity out there this could help with some other species war assets.' sometimes he thought she only stayed with him for public image._

_"I can't do this. Does she even know?" Tali asked._

_"No." Garrus answered with defeat in his voice he watched as Tali turned her back to him and begun to walk away and out the door. But he would not let that happen, he reached for her grabbing her wrist and as she turned he could tell from the soft glowing eyes in the mask she didn't want to go either. Garrus wrapped his arms around her, she was shorter than he was and very thin. When he held her she felt like the world to him so fragile but so strong._

_"I meant every word I ever said to you Tali. I would not take those words away for the sake of saving Palaven. I know this is difficult ad I am sorry for that Tali but please know those nights with you on the Citadel I have not stopped thinking about."_

* * *

_Shepard watched the screen her arms crossed tightly over her body. She watched Tali remove her helmet and her suit while popping in meds for her body. She watched Garrus began to strip of his Turian armor as it became a clattered mess to the floor. She felt sick, angry, and she couldn't blame him._

_The door opened as Liara came into her room with Glyph bouncing behind her. Liara looked at Shepard surprised as Shepard changed the comm vid to show the armory downstairs. "Shepard, I am surprised to see you down here...in my office." Liara added at the end as she dropped off her data pad on her desk._

_"I was just looking at this amazing Broker stuff you have set up to the Normandy." Shepard joked pointing to the screen, "I like the view." she exclaimed as the vid showed James Vega doing pull-ups with the robot dog Shepard had been watching jumping around his feet._

_"Yes he is quite capable." Liara said nodding to the vid. "Is there something you need Shepard?" she asked._

_"Do you think I am a forgiving Commander T'Soni?" Shepard asked finally looking up at the asari. "Do you think I am one to seek revenge?" Shepard looked at Liara with patient eyes as Liara bit the inside of her mouth thinking of a answer to give her friend, her commanding officer._

_"I think you do what you think is best." Liara finally said. "I think sometimes what is good and what is bad isn't so easy to see. I think you look out for those who do good and right their wrongs. As for the 'bad guys' out their, they messed with the wrong first human Spectre."_

* * *

"How is she?" Tali asked as Garrus pushed opened the doors to a waiting room five floors down. Tali was busy doing what she could to help tend to some of the Quarians that had been on Earth during the end of the war and helping out any other species that she could. Garrus looked emotionally gone and emotionally done.

"Have you heard?" Garrus asked her taking a seat on a waiting bench as Tali joined him.

"I have." she nodded letting out a large sigh taking his talons in her hands. "Are you alright?" she asked tightening her grip.

Garrus nodded, "She knows."

"I figured at some point she would." Tali leaned back in the chair rubbing her neck.

"No I think she has always know." Garrus said, "But it is alright. It is all said and done. She needs her space." he leaned forward in his chair putting his arms between his legs taking his hand away from Tali. He could feel the light touch of her hand on the back of his armor doing what she could to comfort him. He wasn't fooling her or himself. This wasn't easy on either of them. It was the naked truth that everything they had both believed was not what they wanted but a veil of what it use to be. They both tried and at the same time he stopped giving his all to her after the wall on his moon. Garrus looked up at Tali and he could sense how concerned she was with him. His words with her were short and he didn't mean to not be so clear. But how do you tell someone you have slowly grown to love that the woman you somehow can't let go is still somehow in your life?

"I cannot focus all my time on her anymore," Garrus admitted, "I need to focus on my people and what the turians need Palaven is in rubbles and here I am stuck on this planet when mine needs me."

"You don't think I am the same? I want to be with my people. I want to go back to my planet and begin rebuilding." The quarian girl pulled her arm from the back of his armor. She began to fidget with her hands in her lap which she always did when she stressed. Garrus put his hand in her lap and looked at her. He only had a glimpse of how beautiful she was and wanted more of it. Now was not the time for the romance he wanted for the ending he deserved. His people needed him.

"If I could stay in this cheap plastic seat all day supporting you I would." he told her and Tali just nodded along to her words.

"Soon." she patted his hands rising from her chair. "Go on Vakarian, go be the hero you need to be."

_**To Be Continued...**_


	6. James & Ashley

Shepard brushed off her hoodie stepping out of the office. She turned around to quickly salute Hackett before the door closed. Joker pushed himself off from the wall he was leaning as he fell into step with Shepard umbrella in hand. They quicken their pace going down two flights of stairs stopping every couple of steps as Shepard lost her breath. Joker acted like this was nothing for him but stairs had never really been his thing. They continue all the way down in silence. until he pushed open the door with a red sign blinking 'Exit'. Popping the umbrella open on the outside, Shepard took it from Joker's hand holding it over their heads as the thunderous rain came down in the night sky. The rain made everything smell like wet pavement it was almost a smell he had forgotten after being in a ship so long. Even grounded in Vancouver he never was outside to be in it, know that smell of the first rain of the season. He held his hand out from under the umbrella feeling the cold drops his his hand like a much needed cold shower. When they reached the entrance to the Hospital they both stopped in their tracks.

Newscasters, photographers, and video recording mecs had taken over the front entrance being held off by Alliance tape and officers pushing them away. Shepard took a step back unfortunately onto a broken bottle. The sound of glass cracking under her foot was enough for the keen ears of a reporter to see her.

"Oh shit..." Joker cursed under his breath. He pulled off his SR1 hat and placed it on Shepards head as she pulled her hoodie over it. They came like the husks did in battle their movements quick and their feet hastened to her. The bright lights from mecs, the flashing from a omi-tool camera, and the shouting of questions sent them both into fear. Quickly she handed the umbrella to him as she pushed the hat over her eyes looking down as they turned around fast walking down a different path. However, with a pilot with bag legs and a Commander who just got out of a coma they were slower than snails and next thing she knew they had been swarmed with no where to turn.

"Commander! Commander!" a woman in a bright yellow raincoat pushed her omi-tool mic into her face, "Is it true you are with child with a turian?"

"Uh..." Shepard looked around her face filled with terror.

"Shepard over here!" a mn in a blue peacoat waved his hand in her face, "Is it true you were willing to risk the life of your unborn child?"

"How do you feel about carrying a baby turian?"

"Is it true that the baby is indeed not your long time partner Garrus Vakarian but from a lover?"

"Shepard how does it feel to be the savior of the universe but known as a 'lady of the evening'?"

"Shepard who IS the father?"

Without another question a blue barrier covered Joker and Shepard pushing away all the reporters a good five feet from them. The reporters banged on the barrier their mecs broken from the biotic push as Joker looked over to see Shepard holding up the barrier herself. She nodded to her right and slowly the damaged duo made their way opposite direction of the hospital. It wasn't until they were at least six blocks away and the last of reporters had stopped following them that Shepard. She leaned against a broken brick wall closing her eyes. He knew she was pushing herself and her body was too tired to be putting up barriers at all.

"Is that even good for the baby?" he asked his first words to her since Hackett pulled her into his office to speak alone.

"I didn't get to that part of the 'Biotics and Your Baby' to be honest." she replied between short breaths.

"Well you should have brought that on your big escape, or at least the giant bear I got you that you shot. I mean I really put out the big bucks for that just so you know." He mocked her taking his hat back from under her hoodie watching her dark coffee colored hair spilling out from underneath. He watched as the rain dripped down form the umbrella hitting her shoulder as he pushed it farther over her head. "Come on." he nudged her with the umbrella. Her tired jade eyes looked at him for only a moment before pulling herself together falling back in step with him.

It took three more blocks of splashing through the puddles and climbing over small rubber before they made their way to the Alliance housing strip. All the red and brown brick houses looked exactly the same: all two story, with large glass windows on the bottom and small ones ontop, each had black metal fences and small green lawns. They were all side by side with side gates into the backyards. Each house had tall black lanterns that lit like it was daytime. Joker led Shepard down a couple rows of houses before stopping in front of one of the houses.

"You can stay, if you want I've been staying here with James. I know it isn't as great as Anderson's..." Joker stopped before he knew what he had said. "Shepard I am sorry-"

"Joker I should apologize." Shepard shook her head with what little water was in it flying off hitting his uniform.

"Why?" he asked.

"About EDI. I am sorry for your loss. I know this hasn't been easy, I know your making jokes to make it better. I am sorry." she blurted out and the words filled his ears and he let them sit for a moment as they drained into his brain. EDI was gone, she was really gone. Not like 'charging' or 'just on the Normandy' but really gone. He pushed it back so far into his mind he hopped it would never surface again.

"It's alright Shepard. Really. I am okay." He kept his head down as she followed him up the brick steps to the black door that made out shapes of vine over the glass. He pulled up his omi-tool and the door clicked. Opening the door he held the umbrella over Shepard's head as she entered he followed behind leaving the umbrella outside. Joker didn't hate the place, the entry way was long vertically, there was a opening to the right leading to a living room, a opening farther down to the dinning room that was attached to the kitchen. The end of the hall had a arch opening to another living room. To the left of the archway was a another archway leading to a small parlour with a glass door to a deck with a small lawn area. To the left of the entry was stairs leading upstairs to three bedrooms one master two singles, and a large living room. The masters had its own bathroom with another downstairs to the left of the parlour another in the upstairs hall between the bedrooms. Everything was bright almost yellow woods with emerald green wallpaper and dark floral couches.

The sound of a vase crashing came from the living room downstairs. A glass vase went flying out of the room smashing into the stairs from form the living room entry. "Secrets, Lies- that is all you have Vega!" A woman shouted from the room. Shepard and Joker exchanged a look with each other before making their way into the living room. James sat on the couch rubbing the back of his head with his hand looking down. Ashley stood over him another vase in hand. They both looked up as James cursed something in Spanish Joker didn't understand.

"Do you want us to leave?" Joker asked simply like they had walked into someone in the middle of dinner and not a fight. Ashley look from Joker to Shepard and he could see the anger growing in her eyes. She took a step away form the table between her and James and towards them but James was quick to make himself a wall between them. Joker took a step back confused and his eyes fell on Shepard who stood her ground. Her expression was that of stone you couldn't tell what she was thinking. Ashley pushed herself past Vega and walked up to Shepard slapping her so hard across the face it sounded like lightening.

"You're in my way." Ashley said walking past them. It wasn't until they heard the front door slam and feet going down the front steps that either of the men moved over to Shepard.

"Did you tell her?" Shepard asked her left hand on her fast swelling cheek, she just shook her head at him.

* * *

_"Can I two again today please?" James asked the cafeteria women, she was older pushing grey hairs unto her net of hair as she nodded turning her back to him. James leaned his back on the glass of the display of different treats made available for officers and looked around. The Cafeteria was large and at its peak for the day it was dinner time. He always waiting until he knew the rush was over to get the food know putting it in boxes to take can take a little longer. Plus he like it not being rushed it game him a chance to look around seeing other soldiers. His eyes moved from the many row of officers eating to outside. Vancouver was drizzly today everyone moved from in-between buildings as the rain began to come down. He could see a older man with a young boy pointing to the building possibly telling stories of great Officers that had been here._

_"Here you are." The lunchroom women interrupted his day dream. James turned around thanking her taking the two large brown sacs of food._

_"Eating for two again today?" a woman asked him. James turned around to see Major Ashley Williams holding a empty tray with a devoured plate. "That will catch up with you one day." she said handing the tray over to the older woman behind the glass._

_"Hey I get a little hungry." he said sheepishly. He started walking out for the exit and knew already she would follow into step with him. He had run into Ashley several times before while he had been here baby-sitting. The first time she made fun of him for taking two lunches and now somehow she always showed up in the lunchroom when he did. He never stayed too long to chat he knew he had to get back but then she started walking with him all the way to the elevator every time making their talks longer._

_"How is your mysterious friend?" Ashley asked as they made their way past a corridor filled with Alliance soldiers._

_"You know I can't say anything Major no matter how beautiful you are." he added the last part sneaking a peek to his right watching her face flush for a moment before she covered it with her hand._

_"Yes well, maybe one day." she stuttered for a moment. She was beautiful James had to give her that. Her hair was long and not many Alliance women had their hair so long it made her look more attractive. She had a killer smile and honey eyes that could make him melt. He didn't know too much about her but she was always talking about idiots she had to go on missions with which meant she was a hard-ass which he also found attractive. A women with power made his skin crawl._

_James stopped for a moment pushing up on a elevator as it released a platform for him to put his hand on for scanning which he did. "I'd ask you if you'd like to come up..." he begun raising his eyebrow at her. Ashley simply rolled her eyes smiling. She knew she couldn't go up even if she wanted to it was where they kept housing for those who were grounded and not many had clearance there._

_"Listen Vega there is something I wanted to tell you..." she begun twisting her fingers together, "I am being shipped out for a couple weeks wont be back for awhile. Thought you might like to know." she said trying to hide the hope he cared behind her words._

_He looked at her, being nervous, and it made him a little happy. She was one of the very few women that he never got nervous talking to with even flirting with and that was new to him. Yes, they had only talked a couple times but a part of him didn't want her to go anywhere. "Thank you for letting me know, Major." he added that last part as another Major walked by only eyeing them for a moment before going on his own way. The elevator finally made its way to his floor and he stepped in he watched her face knowing she didn't know what to say, "If I could kiss you right now I would, just so you know." he beamed._

_All the way up the elevator and down the narrow hallway he thought of her blushing face after his words. He finally found the door he wanted pressing it open with his free hand. The room was freezing cold but there she was sitting in a open window sil as the rain beat down on her. "You're going to sick Shepard, or fall out which ever you want more." he reminded her for the fifth time this week._

_"I won't fall out I always have you here to watch me." she turned around closing the window. James made his way to the coffee table by the window between two white couch setting out the plastic containers of food; steak strips, sweet potatoes, mixed veggies, and two slices of apple pies. Even Shepard couldn't hide how good it look today as she sat in the couch across from him. He used his omi-tool setting the heater before taking a fork and digging in. It had been hard at first talking to Shepard she didn't really say much until he started the conversation. Neither were able to talk about their lives in anyway but they talked about fighting stances, sports, things they saw on a daily basis and over time he found this less of a chore._

_"I saw that boy again playing in the park." Shepard said finished her pie, "He was outside playing in the rain by himself."_

_"Yeah?" James asked still working on his main corse taking what was left of Shepard's steak to eat. "I wonder why he is never with his parents."_

_"Might be Alliance, and too busy." Her eyes glazed over looking down at the park at the people moving around like ants out of the rain._

_"Good thing these windows are tinted or his parents might put a restraining order on you." he joked a small smile grew on her face as she looked back at him. A deep cough came from inside of her as she covered her face. He held up his knife to say something but she held up her hand, "Don't-"_

_"I told you so." he interrupted. He grabbed the empty containers, minus his pie for later, and threw them away in a trash by the door. "I'll go back down get you some soup. I'd take a hot bath if I were you."_

_"Yeah? You going to make it for me?" she asked smirking as she opened the door to her room._

_"Only if you let me join." he looked from the door back towards her but she was already walking into her room stripping off her top her upper body naked. She looked over her solider at him right before the door close causing a heat to room through his body._

* * *

_"You should have told me." Ashley tried to hide the anger in her voice as she followed almost chasing after Vega as he powered walked down the hall. She had waited until Shepard and Anderson were on the other side of the door to say anything but when she turned around James was already walking away._

_"How was I supposed to know you knew her?" he asked not stopping._

_"I just wish you had told me something. At least that it was Shepard that is huge news to be sitting on." she said as they pushed past some lingering Alliance soldiers in a hall. Ashley should have known somehow she should have know that Shepard was here right under her nose. Her stomach was mixed to seeing her again it had been so long since Horizon she wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel. "How can you not tell me? She worked for Cerberus-"_

_"She is a good person Ash." James finally said turning around trying to keep his voice down. He was walking so fast they had made it already across the station. "She isn't some rouge Commander."_

_"You don't know her like I do." Ashley pulled him into a nook in the end of the hall. She wanted to be able to shout back at him tell him how wrong he was. "She betrayed us, Alliance, she lost who she was." She looked up at him not hiding how upset she was but this conversation did not go how she wanted. James cupped her head in his hand pulling her face up as his lips met with hers. he tasted salty but before she could pull taste more he had pulled away._

_"I missed you." he said pulling away from her. Before she could say anything, before she could even ask for more a sound came form the hall, a sound of terror rising in the hall._

* * *

_"Wow only second day of shore leave and you want to have a talk?" Ashley sat on James bed as he un packed a duffle bag of clothes. Ashley pushed back her hair looking at him. He had been quiet all day except for making comments at their briefing at shore leave about asari 'beauties' in his words. When he asked her to join him in his Alliance quarters she had assumed they they were going to finally 'seal the deal'. James however, had told her he wanted to talk. Which she was fine with. "I have my own issues to talk about." she added._

_"I never said Issues.." James pushed the bag aside sitting next to her. "What's up?" he asked. Ashley twisted the sheet under her into a knot for a moment before looking up at him. Slowly she put her hand on his thigh moving closely depleting the space between them. Ashley cupped her hand on his face bringing his lips to hers. She had only a second of the taste of his lips before he put his hands lightly on her shoulders pushing her away. This is what she had wanted and up til this second she thought this is what he wanted, "Don't be a shameless flirt..." Ashley wrapped her hands around his neck but he pulled away._

_"Ash do you remember when I came to you on the Normandy that one night with a bottle of liquor?" he asked starting at the floor. Ashley was confused taking her hands and putting them into her lap. She thought of that night he wanted to 'cheer up his gun-hoe friend'. They had been talking she rubbed her leg against his as they chatted war stories and embarrassing moments but after awhile everything became a blur. She woke up the next morning falling out of a chair with the worst hangover ever._

_"Not too much..." she admitted. "What is this about?" _

_"You spoke to me of a a man named James," he begun standing up pacing back and forth in the room, "Not me." he added._

_Shit, she thought her heart begun to beat rapidly her palms becoming clammy. She knew who he was talking about and she couldn't believe she had forgotten about it. About telling him, but what had she said about the man that use to be on her team?_

_"I told you how I was nervous that I possibly might be getting involved with someone in our crew...having...sexual desires." his eyes flicked to her for a moment waiting for her to say something snarky but she didn't. He continued, "You went off on this 'James'. 'He was so cute, so handsome, so charming. Not a flirt like you Vega he was a real man.'" James even tried sounding Ashley which was not helping her embarrassment. "You told me Ashley how being involved at all with anyone on your own team was the worst idea ever. How it ruins everything it changes things, you told me it would just make things horrible. Team mates should never fraternize it is worst than killing your own squad mate is what you said."_

_"James..." Ashley tried to find the words, "I was drunk, really drunk, I wasn't thinking. I'd like to be-" James interrupted by simply holding his hand up._

_"I know getting involved isn't a good idea." he finished, "I am a shameless flirt I didn't want you getting the wrong idea." _

_Ashley just looked at him trying to pinpoint his emotions. He had a face carved of stone for once he wasn't yanking her chain or playing with her. but he wasn't. Ashley tend to be a fun drunk, she was a good dancer and usually didn't cause too much trouble. Her thoughts were worried at first that she had said how she had cared for another man and he was upset they had the same name. Another part of her feared that she had insulted him so greatly he despised her. But this was worst of all he had agreed with her after in her own mind she thought breaking the rules just this once was going to be okay._

_"I would say with all due respect but you are not above or equal to me." Ashley said standing up hiding the confusion with her strict words, "So you agree."_

_"I just don't want you hurt. You told me first it would never work and I assumed its how you felt even if you were drunk." he shrugged._

_"This isn't like you." Ashley crossed her arms as he finally met her eyes, "Being a knight."_

_"People change." he muttered as she headed out the door. _

_Ashley mulled over it all the next day she played games at the casino but nothing helped her shake him. James had easily been so kind to just shove her right out the door. They had been flirting hell, they had even kissed. It was his idea to kiss her so where was he getting off thinking he could cast her off. If anyone should be casting anyone off it should be her. She was beautiful, a humble killer, deadly in and out of bed. He had no right to cast someone like her aside she should have done it first. But if he was really such a shameless flirt why did she feel he gave her so much attention. Was it so bad to want to be wanted so badly? It wasn't that she was self centered she just felt at least something. Luckily Shepard had finally gotten back to her about going out for those shots and it could not have come at a better time. _

_Ashley made her way quickly from the area crane game to the Sunstrip Casino in a matter of seconds because anything that could get her mind off of this was better than being alone. Shepard was good, Ashley had to admit, she took five shots in a row with Ashley because they got bothered by some Batarians acting like they could pick a fight with the two human Spectres. Ashley couldn't even call it a brawl it was so easy for these two women to take them down. Afterwards they each took a a tray of shots and headed to a booth down stairs. By now it was hitting her harder as she attempted walking down the stairs. They two women were drunk as they slid into the booth and as Ashley took another shot, after already losing count, she took a good look at Shepard. _

_"Shepard how do you do it?" she asked slurring._

_"Do what?" she asked back laughing as she drank her shot like it was just water._

_"Make it work with Garrus?" Shepard froze for a moment look at Ashley like she was really taking her question in. Ashley threw her head back looking at the ceiling of the booth into the colored lights. "I mean you two are on the same squad isn't...isn't it hard?"_

_"It cant be but you just have to try, make things work." Shepard looked at the bottom of her drink, "Sometimes it isn't easy and you want to give up. Then I see how people see our 'inter-species'...__love __on the vids and in interviews and it give the people hope. In these dark times it gives people something to look towards. 'I want that. I wish I had that. You give me hope I can' people tell me. So I keep going." Shepard slurred and mumbled the end of her sentence as she dipped her drink into her mouth._

_"You do it for the galaxy? But what about you?" Ashley asked simply._

_"Enough of me," Shepard avoided the question, "What is going on Ashley?"_

_"Do you ever find someone that makes you feel new again?' Ashley asked drowning herself in her drink. "Someone that gives you extra attention that so badly makes you feel different? Like you are somehow important. This person makes you feel different then other people do?"_

_"Mhmm" Shepard nodded taking another drink._

_"I don't know why I am worried about it hell I shouldn't be!" Ashley pointed at Shepard her index finger a inch away from her face, "You're right Shepard! I should be proving myself! Claim what is mine! Like a pirate! I am a damn Pirate!" Ashley got up from the booth swaying. "To tell with the books! I cant something I get it!"_

_Shepard followed behind Ashley putting her arm around her shoulder, "You are right Princess Pirate Spectre! I should go after what I want!"_

_"Thanks!" They both said at one to eachother._

_"I am going to get a few more drinks in me, dance until I have a plan, then...yeah." Ashley nodded at her own plan._

_"I have somewhere to be Ashley," Shepard spoke as if Ashley had not._

_Ashley was drunk,the drunk where you know your'e drunk and you don't know anything else. Ashley knew if a gun was in her hand for all she would do it would be shot backwards. She danced and danced feeling the music in and out of her curves as she attracted more than a few dance partners. She needed a plan an idea but she had it all along. Ashley took a cap back to the Alliance rooms trying to remember if the floor was six or a nine. It wasn't until a overly friendly Alliance solider who knew James let her know, and proceeded to be punch in the stomach, that she figured out it was six._

_"James!" Ashley slurred and shouted his name banging on his door loudly. Those walking by and some poked their heads out to see the noise but seeing a drunk woman caused them to look the other way, "James!" she bellowed._

_"Ashley?" he replied quietly on the other side of the door._

_"Let me in!" she screamed banging on the door. Inside she could hear a lot of shuffling and doors closing as she waiting patiently thinking about how there were three doors spinning in a circle until it finally opened. "What took you so long?"_

_"I was uh..taking care of something." James scratched the back of his head as a crashing noise came from the closet, "I was trying to clean up."_

_"You missed a couple things." She laughed kicking a trenchcoat on the floor, "Becoming a detective?" she asked eyeing the fact he was only wearing a pair of shorts and no shirt._

_"Something like that, why are you here?"_

_Ashley put her hand on James shoulders pushing him down on the bed. She slowly took the zipper in her hands pulling it down exposing her black sports bra underneath. It was times like this she wish he had prepared maybe bought something a little more sexy or flashy, maybe with lights. _

_"Ash..." James gasped a little. She could tell he was trying to keep his hands to himself and putting them on her thighs or touching her breast. "What about..."_

_"Forget it Vega, thats a order." she wiggled her finger at him._

_"Are you sure?" he asked._

_"Yes." She replied pushing her body against his._

_"Are you positive?" he asked again._

_"Mhm.." she nibbled on his ear whispering his name softly as her body rubbed against his. James slowly ran his hands on her thighs grabbing each part of her he could. He was rough, something she was not use to, but she kind of liked the way it felt. He pulled her face to his kissing her hard as she felt their sloppy kiss deep inside of her bones. She fumbled and horribly tried to take off her suit but in the end it was James helping her drunk mess take care of it. "Are you sure?" he asked again._

_"Yes and Yes." she moaned loudly as his mouth reached her collar bone._

_The next morning Ashley woke up in her own room with a lump in the bed beside her. She couldn't remember getting home and could only make out bits and pieces after fighting with a batarian with Shepard._

* * *

Ashley held her head in her hand sitting at the kitchen counter as Samantha Traynor poured her a glass of red wine.

"I'm surprised you came to me." Samantha admitted as she passed the glass across the sleek stainless steel counter to Ashley who gladly took it drinking as much as she could in one gulp.

"Yeah well, finding someone who doesn't make me want to punch a wall is hard to find right now." Ashley admitted.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Samantha asked putting her hand over Ashley's.

"If you are expecting me to get all touchy feely that is not happening." Ashley pulled her hand away, "I just need somewhere to crash for a night."

"Listen before you decide to crash here..." Samantha put down the glass she was going to pour for herself. Ashley looked at Traynors face and knew she was contemplating something turning it over in her mind which meant whatever it was, was not good for Ashley. "About three months ago, on shore leave?"

"Yes..." Ashley tapped her fingers nervously on the table, "What about it?" she asked.

* * *

"Look Lola I did what I thought was right. I did what I thought that would be best!" James tried to keep his head up but was feeling so deafeated he stared at the ground.

"It is fine James, with all things going on. I should have told her when it happened. I should have told her form the beginning." Shepard held a frozen bag of peas to her face. He looked up not at her but at the vid on tv with the title 'Turian Hybrid: We count down to Shepards due date.' "Turn off this shit, put on real news." she rolled her eyes getting up, "TMZ2000. You think they talk about how I saved the galaxy and not my vagina."

"Shepard!" James stood up staring at her back, "We need to talk about this."

"I should go." was all she replied walking out of the room and down the hall. When she came into the kitchen Joker was rushing to pretend he was cooking a empty skillet on a stove that wasn't on.

"Oh hey Shepard." he tipped his hat, "Just making-"

"Air?" she smirked taking a seat at the bar stool across the cold stove he was 'cooking' on.

"You caught me." He smiled sheepishly putting the skillet on the table. "I still can't believe it." He sighed resting his head in his hands gazing into the lights of the kitchen, "Vega Jr."

"Vega Jr?" Shepard shook her head, "Sorry Joker no Vega Jr. here."

To Be Continued.


	7. James & Shepard

"I don't know how you survived such hardship." Shepard said softly to the empty cobble streets rubbing her stomach for a moment feeling the bump under her hoodie. The dawn was just breaking the rain was a light drizzle. Shepard was always late to bed early to rise, she had been sleeping enough and even only being awake a day she was done resting. Shepard was done with sleep and it was time for her to do what she did best, be the leader she needed to be.

Her boots splashed in the water as small grocery stores and cafes began to open. Honestly, Shepard couldn't believe that some people were moving around like nothing had happen. People said 'Good Morning' as she passed not knowing who she was like it was just any regular Sunday, how could people do it? Pull their lives back together. Then again this _was _Earth. Earth was not like living on the Normandy or some small colony. The billions of lives here were use to wars and yes London had been hit hard but Earth was strong, its people were stronger. To her it had been only a day since everything. For everyone else it had been longer they had the time to grief, to bury those lost, and to rebuild. Shepard made her was down a hill a rubble and into a large tin station housing to her what was her home, The Normandy. Down at the entrance was Hackett, sipping a cup of coffee out of a throwaway white cup. He nodded to her opening the door inside letting her in first.

Someone hit the flood lights and Shepard looked at her ship in awe, it had been through hell all the rings of it. One of the wings looked like it might fall off, the outside was cracked and charred so badly if someone had been in the observation deck Samara enjoyed so much they would have been sucked into space. It would be fixed, Shepard had to keep reminding herself as she followed Hackett into a hole ripped into the side of the ship, it could all be fixed.

"I hear congratulations are in order." Hackett said sipping his coffee as he paced where the galaxy map on the Normandy use to always brightly shine. "Hear the father is Alliance?" he asked.

"No sir." Shepard shook her head her fingers tapping away at her old computer across from where Traynor use to be, "If I were you I would stay away from gossip column for awhile."

"Figured as much. When a reporter tells me a human births a turian and it is possible that is when I know the world is ending. You are quite the talk right now." he chuckled.

"Which is why I am here and not where someone with a vid drone can get me. I don't belong here I belong in my home." Shepard didn't even look at Hackett as she pointed to the sky.

"Don't you think with your current...condition... it might be best to settle down? he asked.

"I found the Normandy after I died, the first time. It had a hole in the roof the ship was blasted so far apart I found the Jokers seat and the elevator a half mile apart. I thought to myself, 'How did I ever recover? How did we ever recover? I was gone two years while everyone else learned to move on I was learning to walk in a world I felt I didn't know. Now again everyone has learned that life moves on while I am stuck thinking 'How did we survive? How will I rebuild?' That is all I want and that is all I know to do in this situation. I will work, I will sweat, and I will help those that lost loved one or gave their own lives. I will help their families and every species rebuild." Shepard looked from Hackett her face filled with confusion, "I am sorry sir I don't the meaning of those words 'settle down'" she turned her head back to the screen and he could see the smirk on her face.

"Of course you don't" he shook his head, "Are you sure this will work?"

"If I know anything sir, its how to fix the galaxy. It will work. There are too many species, people, and lives that need this to work. The war is over-"

"But we need to rebuild." Hackett interrupted. "You're a hell of a leader Shepard, you'll be a hell of a mother."

"That is what they tell me sir." Shepard continued to tap away at her computer, "Thank you."

"You have everything at your finger tips. We will meet at noon see what needs to be done, I'll come back then." Hackett nodded to her knowing she wasn't going to look up.

"Sir?" she turned around watching him leave out the gaping hole in the side of the ship, "About my request-"

"I'll do what I can Shepard. You saved the galaxy, best I can do it try and give you the one thing you ask for." he tipped his officer cap making his way out the hole.

* * *

Joker woke up to the sound of light rain and birds chirping. It took his brain a moment after wondering how birds got into space that he realized once again waking up he was on Earth. Earth felt more inhuman to him than living on a ship, he would never be use to the sunshine, talking around a small town or large city calling it 'home'. Normandy had become his home, but what home did he have now? He sat up blinking away the sleepiness in his eyes and as he he went scratch his head he realized he was holding a small piece of paper.

'_Normandy_' It said in some the worst penmanship he had ever seen. Shepard, he knew getting up from his bed. He looked out his window to see the dark clouds rolling in again his eye moved to the horizon towards base camp. She never really could stay in one place. She was not one to wait while things were needed to be done. Joker quickly jumped into the shower, got dressed, and headed down stairs as fast as he could. James was walking out of the kitchen piece of toast in hand already dressed for the day, "Where you going?" he asked.

"Shepard has already flown the coop. She is at the Normandy." Joker said sitting on the edge of the stairs trying to put his boots on, "I am going to meet her."

"Don't either of you rest?" James shoot his head bitting into his toast, "I'll go with you."

"Does she even want you there? No offense." Joker grabbed a dark alliance navy blue peacoat from the closet throwing it on.

"I don't know. But not much she can do once I am there." James ate the last of his toast grabbing for a bomber jacket next to Joker.

The duo splashed through the puddles James mostly kicked them like a child. They stopped every once in a while saluting what few men were on the streets. When they finally made it to the Normandy just looking in it brought the biggest pain in Joker's chest. Seeing her in a bad with tarp and debris was not how it was supposed to be. He should be flying her in styler, in the stars. Outside the ship stood Shepard shaking hands with Primarch Victus as his two soldiers stood on his either side. They waited patiently for her to finish speaking with him to approach as he and his men left. Shepard looked at them with those eyes, those eyes they both knew. Those were eyes eager for a new mission. "Gather everyone." she said heading back inside the Normandy.

James stood outside the Normandy waiting for the rest of the team with Joker, he was nervous. He had every right to be what with everything going on. He saw them all come at once, Zaeed, Kasumi, Wrex, Miranda, Grunt, Jack, Javick, Jacob, Samara, Tali, Ashley, Garrus, and Liara. Garrus pushed his way past everyone and James had only a moment to look at him and not even a moment to speak his name before Garrus swung his fist at him landing a hard blow knocking James back.

"You son of bitch!" Garrus growled his mandibles twitching. James staggered to get up being helped by Joker.

"I deserve that..." he held his jaw spitting blood from his mouth. Garrus pushed on James chest pushing him against the cold metal of the Normandy.

"Stop it! Both of you!" Liara used her biotics pulling the two apart.

"Let them!' Ashley threw up her hands, "He deserves it!"

"Even if he does this is no place for it." Jacob walked between the two creating a larger space. "I would rather not have us fight right now because we were called for a reason."

"Psh. Humans." Grunt scoffed turning to Wrex, "They can't keep the battle in their pants. Not like Krogan. You fight and you fight you dont just pull your fist out wave them around and put it away."

"Humans will never be as fun to fight as Krogans." Wrex nodded in agreement heading inside the ship followed by the rest of the team.

"Doesn't matter. If you want to fight do it later." Miranda ordered as they made their way to the war room.

"I'll be making bets. I got 60 credits on the muscles." Kasumi sang poking James arm.

* * *

"I'm sorry I don't think I heard you right you are going to what?" Liara asked holding her head as if she had a headache, she did and its name was Shepard. Shepard was standing in the war room which looked more like a electrical shock waiting to happen with so many computers and wires spitting out sparks.

"I am going to take Primarch Victus back to Palaven and what few remaining dignities to their home worlds." Shepard said unfazed by Liara's question. Liara exchanged a look with Joker who just shrugged as if to say 'Dont look at me.'

"But the relays..." Miranda tried to explain.

"We will rebuild them." Shepard said simply, "They are damaged. Not destroyed. It will take time. We can do it." All eyes, looked around all thinking the same thing: Shepard had officially lost her mind. "How are the krogan to get home? How is Wrex to lead form earth? Primarch Victus from here and not Palavan? Liara how are you to get home to your people and Javick the same?"

"Shepard what about-"

"They baby? Shepard looked at Liara, "Will be fine." her tone was serious, "I am not asking any of you to join me. I am not asking any of you to go on this without me. You are all, we are all rebuilding. You have your lives we are creating, I will not ask you to give me more of your lives or time. I simply letting those I love know what is happening."

"Stop it!" Liara shouted and all eyes turned to her. She jabbed her finger into Shepard's collar bone her biotics flaring, "Don't act like this is nothing Shepard. Up until what was only days we thought you were dead. You can't just act like you woke up from a nap and expect us to go follow you into another ring of hell!" Liara's voice began to crack her eyes filling with tears. Shepard's strict face soften at the sight of not just a squad mate but her friend. "I can't do that again."

"Liara no one is trying to kill me... the world no longer depends on my safety. I just...I am just not done yet..." Shepard put her hand on Liara's shoulder.

"Alright Shepard you talked me into to it." Joker shouted from the back of the room, "No way you are taking the Normandy out without me!"

* * *

_James didn't like having to tell Ashley that they should keep it professional but if there is anything he had learn from working with Shepard was that some urges needed to be kept in check. He had walked down the hall over hearing their whisper arguments too many times to want that himself. Not only that but Ashley getting drunk and telling him that awful story about some other guy name James made him feel a little deflated. He hid it however, behind his perfect charm. Yeah hey flirted with her and any other good looking gal, but to be honest he felt his urges getting to him sometimes and he did his best to push them down with beating up his punching bag. Shepard however kept coming down to spar and it had never helped. Now here he was upstairs in the Sunstrip casino on the Citadel only a couple days into shore leave and he had drop the bomb on Ashley. So with his filled glass and with a deflated ego letting a girl like Ash walk away drowning himself in whiskey. It wasn't that he just wanted a girl for a body he loved her brain and her attitude but he had to be honest sometimes working with such beautiful women he can't help himself._

_A crowd began to form on the dancefloor and finally after hearing the name 'Shepard' whispered around he was curious. Making his way to the front of the circle low and behold there she was in all her commanding glory doing the tango with Garrus. Normally he would shout making a joke at her, or poke fun at her dancing, but for once she looked elegant. She wore a tight short black halter dress, black heels, and a sparkly necklace she was a 100 out of 10 and it was blowing his mind a bit. Garrus pulled her and spun her and she wasn't tripping over his feet it was a miracle. Garrus spun her out and Shepards face came so close to his own he could smell her intoxicating perfume. Without another thought he had let out a small moan._

_"Thats what I thought." Shepard laughed before being spun back in. James had to get away as his thoughts began to linger to her out of that dress. Garrus would probably tear it to shreds with his talons where he, being a gentlemen, would had her undress in front of him as he watched his hands moving to his lower body. James shook his head as the thoughts rattled to the back of his mind he seated himself at the bar neck to a deep blue asari in a red, very short, tube top with breast almost falling out of them. He ordered himself another shot of whiskey._

_"Oh Alliance," her sing song voice whispered in his ear moving closer almost falling out of her barstool her breast so close to his eyes it was a great gift from the gods. James just chuckled simply as she took hold of his dog tags examining them batting her large blue eyes at him. "What a hero." she added running her finger over her collar bone._

_That is when Shepard popped in forcing herself between James and the beautiful women in front of him. James gave her a scowl moving his hand motioning to the girl behind him. Shepard put her finger to her lips telling him to be quiet as she ran her fingers through his hair. James was caught off guard as chills ran through his body feeling her nails lightly touch his scalp. He didn't know if he should move, push her away, or do something crazy. As her fingers made her way to his neck he felt the buzz of his drink reaching its height as his thoughts became a slur in his mind. He had no reason to be attracted to her, she was his commanding officer, she was with Garrus, and getting involved with her is wrong. Yet looking down his hands were on her waist._

_"Hey buddy!" A krogan pushed his way through the crowd by the bar as he punched his fist together hovering over James, "You was talking to my girl!"_

_"Excuse me!" Shepard turned around, "I have been here with him for awhile and the minute I leave this stupid jellyfish head was talking with him." She pointed to the asari next to her not taking her eyes off the Krogan. The Krogan tried to stare her down but Shepard had a menacing face and he looked to his asari girlfriend._

_"I leave for five minutes Jenna!" The krogan grabbed the asari by the arm the duo arguing all the way down the stairs._

_"I saw him making his way to you and knew you might need some help." Shepard sat down in the chair that belong to the asari girl._

_"Damn Shepard." James shook his head, "I thought-"_

_"Thought what?" she asked waving down the bartender ordering something that came a few seconds later glowing blue. James thought for a moment about his actions he didn't even know he had done. Was somewhere in the back of his mind a part of him that craved that? They had talked about it before if she wasn't with Garrus, if he would ever give in to his flirty natures. He told her about Ashley what he had said about not dating comrades and he believed the same thing. He looked at her, when she crossed her legs how long the look, how she tucked her short brunette hair behind her ear, how devilish she looked her eyes fluttering around her always watching._

_"Where is Garrus?" he asked._

_"Left." Shepard said flatly but caught her own tone and put on a smile rolling her eyes, "Said something about C-Sec buddies and some calibrations."_

_"You meeting up with him later?" James asked trying to keep the subject from what he wanted, trying to remind himself to focus but he had been drinking, there was no focusing._

_"He is staying with some C-Sec buddies what few he kept contact with. Left early on our date." she shrugged sipping her drink, "It is alright wasn't going as planned. Tried spicing things up. Didn't work."_

_"Oh?" James became curious, "How so Lola?"_

_Shepard shifted for a moment wiggling in her chair starting to the back of the bar watching all the people dancing. he waited for a response and watched her tap her fingers on the bar before turning back to him, "Roleplaying."_

_"I am sorry I didn''t hear you?" he put his finger in his ear making sure it was clean._

_"Roleplaying..." she sighed sipping her drink more, "Pretending we just met, didn't go so well. Plus this turian female," She mumbled the last part. downing the last of her drink, "Tell me something anything." Shepard looked to James seeing two for a moment. He was giving her that smirk he gave when he was being devilish or whitty. He shifted for a moment before waving down the bartender, "Sir could you get another one of those fancy drinks for the lady right here?" The bartender nodded and James leaned in, Shepard could smell the alcohol from a mile away on his breath, "James Vega, I am on shore leave and I am so lucky to find such a angel in a bar like this. You must had fallen from heaven. See I am now a N7 and know a couple things about saving angels." he winked._

_Shepard eyes grew wide and she put her hand over her mouth almost snorting. James put his hand over his heart, "Hey a pretty angel wouldn't laugh at me."_

_"You are joking right?" she asked as the drink was served to her, "Does that ever work?"_

_"You would be surprised." James payed the bartender, "What is your name?"_

_"Commander Shepard, run a ship called the Normandy. I am just a pretty face for Alliance posters." She pushed back her hair giving a big smile. "Also on shore leave."_

_"Oh, you staying in the Alliance quarters?" he asked._

_Shepard shook her head, "Got my own place, big apartment great view."_

_"Really? See my Commander is kind of a ass. I am staying in some shithole room while she has a huge place to herself. Not fair if you ask me." James finished his drink and watched Shepard finish hers. The music got louder and he realized all the people pushing around trying to get drinks. James took her by the hand leading her to a small quiet part to the right of the upstairs overlooking the stairs and they leaned over watching people, drunk ones, walk up and down from the games to the dance floor. He told her of all the horrible missions his Commander put him on, in exchanged she told him of one of her annoying squadmates that was kind of a meat head._

_"Meat head?" he asked._

_"Big one, thinks he is all that and its so hard because it is so obvious he has it for me." Shepard shook her head pushing off the rail and leaning against the wall._

_"Wow you don't say? See I am in the same boat. My Commander with the pole up her ass has it bad for me. Always sparing in a tank top. One time she was walking into her bathroom took her top off right in front of me." James watched Shepard face flushed for a moment before she got her composure back smirking. James leaned over Shepard his hand above her on the wall his body close to hers. He could feel the music pulsing through the wall. Her scent was stronger and mixed with the smell of alcohol and berries._

_"Want to see my apartment?" she asked._

_James told himself all the way out of the bar, in the elevator, down the hall, and into the apartment. He knew this was wrong this was bad and not good at all. On the other hand they were just playing, goofing around. They would go in have a laugh watch a game and crack open a beer. Again, on the other hand, god the way she looked, the looks she gave him drove him crazy. Maybe her and Garrus were on a break? No they were just on a date James cursed his mind. Half the time he was thinking the rest was flushing out thoughts trying to focus on spinning walls. When they got to the apartment Shepard lifted her arms in the air as if to impress him with the place. He had been there before when he showed her his N7 tattoo but apparently they were still playing. "Impressive." he whistled walking around. "Really fancy." James made his way to the backroom following Shepard. She made her way to the bar as James looked over the Poker table and books on the walls. Shepard handed him another drink he smelled it recognizing the smell of brandy._

_"So what was a girl like you doing a bar alone tonight?" He asked swishing his drink taking a seat at her . "No special guy back home?"_

_Shepard shook her head leaning against the table. "Had one. But that isn't important." Shepard downed the rest of her drink and pushed off form the desk, "Excuse me a moment uh..."_

_"James." he reminded her._

_"yes yes James thank you." Shepard took off and he could hear her heels sitting the stairs. James wondered why she would even be doing up there, what was she planning? All of a sudden the computer started going off a call was coming in._

_"Could you get that?" she shouted. James pushed a button on the comm. "Uh, Hello?' he asked._

_"James?" Samantha Traynor called over the comm, "What are you doing at Shepards? It is the middle of the night?"_

_"I uh...uh...gotta go" he hung up cursing loudly. He knew this was a bad idea, this wasn't good. He needed to go he had to get out of there. James stormed his way upstairs as quickly as possible thinking of a way to get out without her getting mad. He would say he got a emergency call, he was needed somewhere else. James made his way into Shepard's room with his excuse prepared but he lost it the minute he saw her. Shepard stood in her room unzipping her dress its dropped lifeless from her body and there she stood in all her glory, and a pair of heels. She wore red lace panties with matching bra. She looked over her shoulder at him before walking over her heels clicking as she did. She ran her finger down his chest examining his arms._

_"You always flirt with me." she whispered, "No one does that. Why is that? Is it because you are just a shameless flirt?" she asked taking him by the hand leading him to her bed. James didn't even answer, his brain was down for the count for the night. He sat on the bed as Shepard sat in his lap kissing his neck._

_"Shepard.." he mumbled his words lost in her hair, "This is wrong."_

_Shepard pushed her hair away from his face getting out of his lap. She pushed her hair back sitting on the bed behind him, "You're right." James turned around and Shepard removed her bra throwing it to the floor. He watched her cross her legs sitting back tilting her head, her breast were bigger than he thought and so perfectly round. When she moved they bounced and god it made him excited. He tried to think of anything, a reason for why leaving was a good idea. But he couldn't move he wanted her and not in the ways where they spared or he flirted playfully with her. He wanted her in a way any man was driven to a women in the must sensual way possible. James crawled over to her grabbing her forcefully into his arms kissing her hard their teeth hitting. Shepard tore the shirt off James not keeping the taste of him away. He tasted like a bar, like a night of mistakes well worth making._

_His hands groped her breast hard as she let out a moan calling his name. His lips parted from hers making their way down to her neck and to her breast tasting her, bitting at her swelling nipples. He loved the way that she called out his name the harder he bit to the point her breast swelled even more. Shepard grabbed at his pants taking the belt off as fast as she could. He took off his pants following his boxers quickly as possible. Shepard looked at awe at his erected member taking her hands and moving it up and down his shaft slowly as he moved over her taking his fingers and moving them between her thighs. "Usted es tan húmedo Lola" he whispered into her ear unable to handle her hands moving over his throbbing member. His fingers moved inside her feeling how wet she really was, she had been waiting for it, needing it. His fingers moved quickly and forcefully in and out of her watching her drip all over his fingers. He couldn't take it anymore feeling her hands move up and down him. "Shepard..." he moaned, but she was a step ahead. Shepard moved her body lower as James took his shaft in his hands and slowly made it into Shepards heat. Her nails dug into his back, her legs wrapped around his torso and neither waited to get situated he began pumping himself in and out of her quickly._

_"James!" Shepard cried out his name feeling him go deep inside of her. She was tight, very tight, and it hurt his shaft going deeper in her but god the sensation was making her drip over him and as pushed in and out her. Jamess mouth moved to her and his facial hair was smoothly shaven as it brushed against her face. She could feel his body hitting against her as her head began to hit the head board he pumped in and out of her harder, deeper. She knew she was reaching her limit, his body against her god it felt so good. "James..I...I" she couldn't finish her sentence. "Shepard!" he groaned pumping faster faster her nails digging harder as he felt himself reaching his boiling point. He could feel her cumming over his throbbing shaft her body trembling and that was it for him he couldn't wait anymore._

_That is when Shepard snapped back into reality. "James!" she called out._

_"I know I am going to cum." he grunted feeling the sensation overwhelm him. Just s he reached his peek feeling his release Shepard pushed her body almost kicking him away as he came all over her thighs it dripped over her lower body. James layed down next to Shepard panting heavily. "Shepard I...I'm sorry."_

_"Don't be. She kissed him for a moment running her fingers over him before she shook her head getting up from the bed heading for the shower. He watched the body of her curves, the way she moved, the scars on her body taking it all in as she walked down the hall to the shower in the other your. _

_"You're in serious trouble James Vega." he whisphered to himself laying back on the bed closing his eyes_.

* * *

_James had planned on coming back to his room after hours in the area of blowing off steam and taking a hot shower. He wanted to freshen up before hitting the bar scene hell maybe find some of his squadmates to spend time with. However, when he came into his room he was not expecting to find Shepard in his room looking at his closet of clothes form his duffle bag._

_"You hung my jacket," she smiled sweetly her hand touching the used black leather. She had given it to him when he was thinking of joining N7, it was a men jacket anyways and fit him well. She had hoped it would help him decide to do it and he had with getting his large N7 tattoo her nails dug into the night before. Shepard turned back to James removing the trench coat from her body revealing the skimpiest black lingerie James had ever seen on a woman not working in a bar._

_"S-Shepard!" James gasped as she walked over to him getting rid of the space between them in her tall heels. She was still shorter than him but she looked at him with a hungry desire he now knew too well. Shepard tugged at his shirt biting her lip. Today James was not drunk, he was no being swayed by longing desires one feels when they drink. Today he was sober, clean and with his head on right. Somewhere deep inside him yeah he was attracted to her but he knew better._

_"Shepard as much as I don't want to turn away you dressed so...little," he waved his hand over her lower body, "I can't. I know your'e with Garrus and that was wrong of me I was reflecting my confusion mixed with beer onto you. I am sorry Shepard" James hung his head low only to have it brought back up by Shepard's fingers._

_"James, I am sorry because I was doing the same. I took my emotions and my needs and threw them at you." Shepard shrugged._

_"So what Commander? We act like none of this ever happened?" he asked._

_"I came here because someone told me tonight that if you want something just go get it. I think I was just looking at the wr-"_

_"JAMES! JAMES VEGA! I SWEAR TO THE GODDESS OPEN THE DOOR!" Ashley screamed and banged on the other side. James cursed under his breath pacing. It only took a little time for Shepard to connect the dots. James fear of being with someone on his squad, he had told her when he showed her his tattoo that it wasn't right. The reason he drifted off as he said it the hush tones with the second human spectre. How on mars they spoke like they weren't strangers. Ashley's words earlier in the night, the way she lingered when she came down to the bottom floor of the Normandy when jumping on the shuttle with Shepard._

_"Oh my god, Ashley?!" Shepard hissed between her teeth, "Why didn't either of you tell me?"_

_"Because I don't know every time I came to talk to you Garrus or someone was there. What was I supposed to say? We aren't really dating it is all confusing" James whispered back although most the words were drawn out by Ashley's shouting._

_"We don't have time for this, for any of this!" Shepard interrupted through the shouting._

_"If she see's you like this, I don't know..." James stumbled over his words. Shepard put her hand on his shoulder patting it for a moment. He looked at her to say something, to figure out a plan. Shepard simply put her finger over her lips to keep quiet and silently made her way into the closet. At the time she thought it was a great plan, however as the time rolled by she realized this was rock bottom. That sitting in a closet on a pile of armor of a guy she had cheated on her long-term boyfriend with who was, to the noises outside the closet, getting intimate with her friend and squad mate. Shepard realized where she was going down a path that she hadn't realized: fishing for a man not hers, letting the one she have be with someone else even though she knew, she couldn't let him go. _

_What had happened to her?_

* * *

Ashley crossed her arms and tapped her foot so fast Shepard thought she looked like a rabbit. Shepard thought about a Ashley-rabbit hybrid for a moment and just could not stop laughing at the mere thought of it in her head. It made her think of carrots which was something she was oddly craving and happy that Earth had fresh. She shook her head realizing that Ashley and James had been waiting for her to say something.

"Ashley I didn't tell you because at first I didn't know. Then when I knew I didn't want to upset you and well a million other reasons I just could not even list at the moment. It was a mistake. It was my fault." Shepard pleaded.

"A mistake?" Ashley asked her eyebrow rising.

"Ashley I cannot just say it was in the past. I wish I could tell you that was it and it is over but this is fresh for you and I don't know what else to tell you except I am sorry. When it happened I didn't know you were both involved-"

"You were Garrus." Ashley interrupted trying to keep her voice down even though they were the only ones in the War Room. "He knew that!" she jabbed her finger in the direction of James.

"Ashley I know and I am sorry and I know you can't forgive me but I love you." James exclaimed, "All cards on the table I love you."

"You what?" Ashley asked confused her hand slowly going over her gaped open mouth. Shepard slowly took the moment to quietly leave the room leaving the two in the broken silence. Ashley could feel her heart beating rapidly into the pit of her stomach. She was angry with him, angry at Shepard for the two of them lying to her about their secret. She was angry he had never told her but slept with her then moved back into their ways of flirting and sensual very few moments together. When the Normandy went down the first thing she hunted down on that ship was James, after all of that what was she supposed to do?

"You are a shameless flirt James Vegas." Ashley spit the words at him to hurt him in as many ways she could. She wanted him to feel silly for telling her those three words after doing nothing but be a shameless flirt.

"I know." was all he said to her.

"I love you too." she mumbled as he closed the space between them kissing her as hard as he could.

* * *

Shepard exited the Normandy noticing that the only clouds were not from the sky but from the Cigar Zaeed was smoking by the door.

"Shepard." he nodded to her tapping the end of his cigar letting the ashes fall.

"Zaeed I had a feeling you'd be next to come bother me." Shepard pushed the smoke out of her face.


	8. Shore Leave Party

_Garrus strolled into Shepard's large apartment. He had not gotten a chance to see it yet and was actually quite impressed by how large it was. Glyph zoomed around the room a base beat from his pulsating body with James following behind Garrus. In the kitchen every piece of the counter was covered in so many different kinds of alcohol some even glowing others looked like they moved inside their containers alive. Past the kitchen on the large table with a hologram of the Normandy was piles upon piles of food for every species from Turian to Quarian. The room smelled of roasted meats and herbs it could make any full stomach growl in anticipation._

_"Hey guys!" Joker shouted from the back room watching a game on the large tv._

_"Joker?" Garrus looked at the pilot confused, "Aren't you a little early?" he asked._

_"Mr. Jeff Moreau has been staying at the Commnder's estate for Shore leave Mr. Vakarian." Glyph chimed in floating over to the tv as James took a seat next to Joker._

_"W-wait you have been here? This whole time? Like two nights ago?" James asked._

_"No I was out the other night. Why?" Joker raised a eyebrow popping open a beer._

_"Just wondering." James let out a sigh of relief. Garrus walked away making his way upstairs. He looked around Shepard's room before finding her leaning over her bathroom counter applying eyeliner to her eyes. She looked radiant in her black dress it clung to her hips they way any man would like. She lets her eyes focuse and blinked away the strain before making eye contact with him in the mirror._

_"Oh come to finish our date from a week ago?" she asked looking back in the mirror focusing on her eyes. Garrus leaned against the wall of the bathroom watching her skillfully do her make up._

_"I'm sorry Shepard but I guess you can make it up to me by letting me know why Joker had been staying with you?" he asked tapping his foot. Shepard put down her eyeliner and grabbed for her mascara twisting off the top and taking the small black wand to her upper eyes not breaking to make eye contact with him._

_"I told you he was staying with me the first night we got here? Remember? When I said this Shore Leave will be good because you and I can get privacy? Then you told me you needed space and wanted to stay somewhere else. Remember? After my clone tried to kill me? Fun times. Been a week since I have seen you. Almost two weeks now. Really fun." Shepard flicked the wand against her eyelashes batting her eyes as they extended farther up. Shepard blinked only looked at Garrus for a moment, "I like the company." she said._

_"I don't remember you telling me. I don't think its right. Don't you think it is a tad weird if people knew he was staying with you?" Garrus crossed his arms trying not to tear his nice outfit similar to the one he had worn on their date._

_"I didn't think you would care Garrus, you would have to be around to care." Shepard made one last flick with her hand before putting her mascara away and grabbing for a vermillion colored lipstick from the drawer. In two swoops she put it on her lips smacking and pouting until the paint covered every inch of her succulent lips._

_"Don't give me that. Shepard do you need me to list every time you ever left me waiting at a bar? At a restaurant? In the middle of the date for the council or just anyone yelling for help?" Garrus watched her stroll her way over to the bed sitting down and putting on her heels that were thrown next to her on the bed. She looked down at the floor while she put them on not wanting to make eye contact with him. Her colored lips mumbled something as she pushed her hair back. "What?" he asked._

_"No I don't need you to remind me." She mumbled again. "I just thought our date was going well and you just left." Shepard threw up her hands looking at him, really looking at him. His hard exterior soften as he took a seat next to her putting his hand over hers._

_"It was going very well." he said squeezing her hand._

_"No it wasn't" Shepard stood up pushing him away physically and with that barrier she always put up, "Besides the dance we couldn't talk we had nothing to talk about and the roleplaying-"_

_"That was your idea." Garrus interrupted standing up as well. "What is this all about, really?" he asked._

_Shepard looked at him, at his blue piercing eyes the way they always saw everything, "Do you love me the way you did back before the Collector Base?" she asked. The way she asked was like she had asked him what he wanted for dinner, like it had been nothing. He looked at her, the way her back was too him straight as an arrow. How her hair was tucked behind her ear the way she batter her eyes looking over her shoulder at the floor and not at him, all defenses were down. He went to reach for her for the words he needed to fix this but what could be said? He had left because Tali messaged him that there was emergency. The emergency was she was drunk, out of credits, and horny. He could never tell Shepard that, he could never tell her anything anymore. What if things changed? What if he changed and she changed and really changed. Not this thing they kept saying they were doing but weren't. He tried to remember the last time before the date gone wrong he had really been close to her and he could think of was anytime they came to the Citadel and some news anchor wanted to ask about how they can give faith to those out there look for love. That was all they had become was a beacon of hope for everyone but themselves. Garrus went to open his mouth to the say the words that finally needed to be said, however Glyph zoomed and bounced his way into the room._

_"Commander Shepard all of your guest are beginning to arrive." he exclaimed._

_"Thank you Glyph." Shepard wiped her eyes walking past Garrus only to stop for a moment to look at him, "Come on we got a show to put on right?" she asked leaving him alone the room. He knew she said that to hurt him, to take a stab at his pride and the fact the only reason the universe was examining their love was because he mistakenly spoken to a reporter about how their love was undeniable. It had been, it use to be. But the hope it gave some people, those that came to them thanking them telling them 'One day I hope to have that' or 'My krogan boyfriend and I think you are so inspiring.' Now what were they? Garrus slapped his face reminding himself to get it together. He went downstairs to see everyone was already there._

_Shepard was sitting on the couch with James, Cortez, Ashley and Jack laughing away not even noticing he had come downstairs. The music was much louder than it had seemed upstairs, Garrus looked around to see Tali waving at him with two drinks._

_"Shepard are you listening?" Jack asked looking over at at Shepard whose eyes flickered around the room as she sipped on her drink. Jack laughed pointing at her Commander officer, "Someone is a lightweight."_

_"Porbrecito bebe" James tsk taking another swig of his drink._

_"I just need about five more of these." Jack wiggled her half empty glass towards James._

_"I'll drink to that!" Ashley held her drink up in triumph._

_"Am I going to be finding you on the floor in the morning Spectre?" Shepard joked._

_"I don't know if I would mind finding Jack on the floor." James joked winking at the biotic Teacher only to have his rib cage stabbed by Ashley's elbow. Shepard just shook her head laughing._

_"Something wrong Ashley?" she asked getting up and not waiting for a answer. She could hear Ashley angrily whispering at James while Jack just laughed at the awkward duo and Cortez constantly apologized for the two of them. Shepard guessed that now she knew about how obvious maybe it was of James and Ashley's feelings. How could she had missed the obvious jabs from Ashley she always thought were playful?_

_"So when are you going to trade in the AI girlfriend for a real one?" Miranda joked swirling her drink around before taking a sip of her Martini. She laughed leaning over Jacob the two thick as thieves like they were back at Cerberus. Joker merely rolled his eyes at Miranda waving her away with his bottle of beer._

_"Why would I WANT to get rid of her?" Joker said holding his heart, "She laughs at my jokes, she finds me funny, she kicks ass, and well what more do I need to say?"_

_"What about in bed?" Jacob snickered a little, "How does one lay with a ship?"_

_"EDI don't listen to these imbeciles they are jealous I got a hot robot girlfriend." he went to put his hand on her shoulder but EDI was already standing up. Joker looked to her to find some reason on her face but as usual it was like stone with a small smirk._

_"Their words do not bother me Jeff. Would you like another beer?" EDI asked but didn't wait for an answer she was already heading for the kitchen. Joker took his hand down from the invisible shoulder swigging away the last of his beer. Jack came from around the corner of the fire place looking from the kitchen to the trio. "I feel a cold front." she joked taking EDI's seat on the bar stool._

_"Jack tell me if you agree : Shouldn't Joker be with a human. I am not saying there is anything wrong with EDI, "Jacob began adjusting himself in the couch his eyes looking quickly to Joker before back to Jack, "I am just saying what is wrong with the couch and feel of a real woman?"_

_Joker scoffed looking to Jack, she hadn't answered yet she was just looking at the bottom of her rum and coke swishing it as the ice went in a circle, "To be honest I thought Joker was going to end up shagging Shepard..." she said quietly her eyes drifting out the corners seeing if anyone outside this small group had heard. Joker choked on the last of the beer in his throat coughing until his throat burned from the alcohol._

_"To be honest I thought the same which says a lot because I never agree with her." Miranda motioned her drink to Jack._

_"That really touches my heart you ice bitch." Jack put her hand over her chest giving Miranda a motion with her middle finger._

_"I am serious, after the Collectors took the Normandy crew the way Shepard looked to you, defended you, kept at your side. Plus I mean you were the only one who came first to be with her. I just assumed you two were-"_

_"We weren't." Joker interrupted. "I guess in a universe where she didn't wear a uniform it would make sense." he shrugged looking up at the balcony. Shepard was leaning over, no drink in hand, as Grunt leaned over next to her telling her a story and he could tell she was happy, truly happy. She smiled and said only a few words as she watched her friends talk and laugh downstairs and Grunt continued talking._

_"Jeff I brought a another drink. Are you well?" EDI asked sliding the drink across the bar from him. Joker looked at the drink blinking a couple times before he could really focus snapping out of the thoughts he didn't realized had lingered for a moment. EDI blinked faster trying to examine his face for illnesses._

_"Thanks EDI and no I am fine. But thank you for asking." he beamed and he could see her relax._

_"Jeff. Traynor and Tali'Zorah vas Normandy have asked me to join them upstairs for some 'girl talk' they are going to be discussing." EDI was harsh with her air quotations. "Is it alright if I leave you for awhile? I know we have not seen each other much an-"_

_"Go go EDI. You are stuck sitting next to me everyday. This shore leave is to make you happy. Plus we have fought enough and..well..go have fun." He motioned for her and she nodded leaning over for a moment kissing him on the cheek._

_"Thank you Jeff."_

_"So then I took him, and threw him over the balcony. Pretty much best Krogan party ever." Grunt chuckled patting Shepard on the back his drink sloshing over the balcony._

_"Nice story Grunt." Shepard shook her head watching everyone below. Her eyes moved across the room pausing a moment at the bar downstairs. There was Cortez, Wrex, Joker, and Javick all standing around looking like they were giving Joker a hard time. His eyes caught hers for a moment and he merely shrugged mouthing the words help me. She shrugging pointing next to Grunt and held up one finger to give her a minute. Her door bell began to ring multiple times and her and Grunt exchanged a look before heading down to the first floor. Grunt pressed the button to the vid screen showing a group of well dressed men and some scantly dressed asari around their shoulders begging to come in. Grunt shook his head saying no before rejecting the ride up on the elevator. A moment later it rung again. This time two bartarians and a vorcha holding bottle of liquor. Grunt again told them no. Shepard was having fun watching Grunt get excited from telling people the word 'no' til her eyes caught something around the corner. Garrus was kneeling behind her glass fall only feet away that was filled with greenery. Curious, Shepard stepped aside form Grunt making her way over to her boyfriend._

_"Yes but his we set up traps in the kitchen, their are bound to get hungry. All villains need a snack every once in awhile." Garrus held his finger to a ear piece on his sniper eye with the control panel to her plants and waterfall open. He looked up from the tapping heel next to him following the long legs connected to Shepard's body. "it seems we have been compromised." he took his finger off his eye set standing up._

_"What are you doing?" Shepard asked crossing her arms smirking. He was devilish about ideas when he was drunk, it was when he wanted to work on his calibrations most besides all of the time. He was like a kid with a science box set he wanted to create or any idea at all that popped into his head was sheer brilliance, such as tango. It was really one of the things she admired about him when he was drinking that and his husky voice._

_"Zaeed and I are making a plan to booby-trap the apartment in case your close ever comes back." Garrus looked prideful in the idea._

_"What if I set off a trap?" Shepard asked smirking as he took his hand running them up her arms. This was different from the Garrus in the room earlier, it reminded her of times before they got so complicated. He was being gentle and slow with his touch which it had been go long since his talons lingered against her skin. He slowly moved her in a semi-circle pushing her against the glass cold against her skin giving her goosebumps she ignored. They looked at each other a way lovers did in bed, a way she couldn't remember the last time they really did. Shepard tugged lightly at the front of his shirt wanting him to move closer and he did. She could feel the short breaths from his mouth hitting her neck as they moved slowly in silence getting closer and closer until she felt his pulse beating in rhythm with hers._

_"I'll come running." he whispered his forehead touching hers. A shout came from across the room, calling for Shepard. "You're needed." he sighed pulling away._

_"It is a party Garrus not a war meeting..." Shepard's words were lost to his back as he just walked away leaving her against the cold glass alone. She didn't waist a moment or step out of beat she put her smile on and glided from her hiding spot and into the room but before she went to the shouts from Cortez at the bar she made her way to Grunt. "Grunt."_

_"Shepard." he nodded._

_"How about you take a break from door watching? Just let anyone who rings in. Make it real fun." She patted him on the back._

_"heh heh heh maybe a couple Krogan to fight." Grunt punched his fist together excited._

_It didn't take long for Shepard's place to get filled to the brink with people and she was lucky there was less than a handfill of vorcha and bartarians and no Krogan for Grunt to fight unless you counted Wrex. It was mostly loose asari women, some exotic dancers, some hanars, a elcor or two, and a whole lot of humans. It was loud with a whole lot of sweaty bodies but no one in her team seemed to mind the extra company in fact everyone seemed excited to have a lard club style atmosphere. Shepard was able to keep busy enough where she didn't have to be so upset minus the every half hour or so she ran to the bathroom sick which she assumed was from mixing herself so many turian drinks. Shepard tiped her mouth flushing the toilet before looking the mirror; she was pale from being sick all the color lost in her face. Her hair stuck to the back of her neck from being so sweaty but for moment she thought maybe in the right light she looked pretty damn good. Making her leaving from the bathroom she strolled through the floor having finished saving Joker from Cortez making him practice fire a gun, not saving James from his Biotics vs pure strength argument, and helping Zaeed somewhat impress Samara. Shepard had a busy party but her favorite, or least favorite, had to be finding Kasumi going through her underwear drawer. Shepard watched Garrus from a far distance he had not tried to really speak to her again at least not for a hour or two until he disappeared._

_"Where did Garrus go?" Shepard asked Javick being admired by some Asari women over the balcony._

_"I believe he is somewhere up here with the other undeveloped species." Javick waved off Shepard letting her know he was too busy to deal with a primitive like her. Shepard merely rolled her eyes happy to see Javick at least a little happy for one night. Shepard went to turn a corner when someone bumped into her spilling their neon yellow drink all over her dress. A small snickering a little laughs went though the room as the patrons gaped at the sight._

_"S-Shepard! I am so sorry!" Tali exclaimed holding her empty drink standing next to Garrus. Shepard looked from each of them annoyed trying to wipe the drink off of her dress but she was already sticky. Garrus stood there silently next to tali swirling his drink around and around watching a small bit of a olive dance inside the drink. He wouldn't make eye contact with her and Shepard didn't need to see his eyes to know he was trying to no be involved in helping her._

_"It's fine Tali. Glad you're having a good time." she forced a smile on her face that hurt. Before she walked away she looked at garrus who for a quick second made eye contact, "Really?" she asked in almost a whisper. Without another word she spinned around trying no to stomp angrily to her room which she was happy no one was in except for Zaeed._

_"What are you doing?" she asked. Zaeed was messing around with the control panels of the hot tub. He looked up at her with a unlit cigar in his mouth and a huge grin on his face._

_"I'm just making it more advanced-"_

_"Stop booby-trapping my hot tub." Shepard interrupted taking a towel form the bathroom counter trying to wipe off the drink but it was already sticky. "He just stood there. " Shepard threw the towel at the mirror._

_"What's that love?" Zaeed asked standing up taking the cigar from his mouth he eyed her up and down, "Jesus what happened to you?" he pointed to her dress. Shepard washed her hands trying to get the sticky-ness off of her arms which thankfully came off her skin easily._

_"Someone spilled a drink on me but hey it's fine because everyone got a good laugh." Shepard marched her way into her closet. Across from her un-armed gun case was her open and messy closet. She unzipped the dress kicking it off of her along with the heels as she shuffled through her drawers looking for something to wear. She finally settled on a pair of black skinny jeans, a black shirt and her N7 hoodie. She had just finished throwing on the pants and her black tank top when the door to her closet zoomed open. She held her black shirt balled up in her hands over her front torso but seeing that it was only Zaeed simply looked unfazed._

_"Shepard remember when you use to come down in visit me on the Normandy?" Zaeed asked his words slurring together a little._

_"Mhmmm..." Shepard asked leaning against the back wall. "You would tell me stories about your Gun Jessie."_

_Zaeed moved closer to her watching her just stare at him like he was in a museum. He put his hand to her face feeling her body go tense to his touch. He moved aside her hair tucking it behind her ear. He knew when she walked into her room she was upset and that was a version of Shepard he had never really seen: fragile._

_"What did that old turian do to upset you eh?" he asked his voice rough not moving his hand from her face making her look at him._

_"Nothing." Shepard tried looking down but he only pushed her head higher to meet his eyes._

_"What are you thinking Shepard?" he asked._

_"What are you thinking Zaeed?" Shepard answered with her own questions their eyes locked onto each other neither moving. His breathing was calm neither of their heartbeats going above normal. He didn't answer at first just merely taking in the sight of her under his hand. Shepard was letting him be this close and she had not pushed him away yet. Her eyes pleaded but she did not move keeping her hands balled in the shirt in her clutches. He remembered when she would come visit him, how when it came to him asking personal things she would just dodge all questions. Seeing her coming in covered in a drink made him mad because she was Shepard, anyone who spilled on her didn't deserve to live._

_"Okay I always thought you were beautiful. There I said it. Don't say anything." Zaeed put his fingers to her lips pressing on them for a moment. It was fifteen minutes later Shepard had her legs wrapped around Zaeed's lower body, his hands gripping her ass she was pinned against the call of her closet his pants around his ankles. Shepard's arms wrapped around his neck her back rubbing against the wall her mouth connected to his._

_"Shepard?" Jack walked into Shepard's room searching around only to find her and Zaeed stumbling out of the closet as Shepard tugged down on her black shirt. Zaeed didn't skip a beat tipping a invisible hat to Jack before leaving the room. Shepard dusted pretend particles off her pants looking at Jack somewhat bored. Jack looked from Shepard to the party a little confused, "I heard Tali spilled some quarian shit on you?" she asked._

_"Yeah, had to change." Shepard just shrugged putting her arm around Jack's shoulders. "What do you say you and I challenge some asari to a drinking game?"_

_"Oh you are on! But first you got to see this!" Jack handed one of the drinks she was holding to Shepard as they made their way to the balcony. There was Jacob, Cortez, and James all doing pushing with Jacob seriously struggling._

_It was later that evening Shepard had found James and Ashley hiding downstairs in a corner as he whispered in the second human Spectre's ear. Ashley smiled and blushed as his hands moved into her air. When Shepard had made her way into the room Ashley moved away from James creating as much space between them. Shepard told her however that she supported it, supported them. James didn't say anything to her after that night she left and he never needed to. They moved back into the motions of him flirting and Shepard ignoring it knowing now who he cared for. Ashley deserved to be happy after everything and Shepard was not going to be the one to kill that._

_A pair of arms wrapped around her shoulders and Shepard looked up to see Garrus swaying and sloshing around like goo in a lava lamp. He was holding on to her to stay standing not to comfort her. Shepard guided him upstairs and to her room letting him rest on her bed. He collapsed like a mission was done his eyes opening then slowly closing as sleep took over. Glyph zoomed into the room bouncing up and down until Shepard took her eyes away from Garrus for only moments._

_"Shepard some of your guest-"_

_"What every they want, let them have. I will turn in for the night please make sure my room is locked. Anyone who wishes to stay the night may and any trouble makers can make their way out." Shepard looked back at Garrus his eyes closed, his breathing deep._

_"As you wish Commander." Glyph zoomed out the room and the large opening to her room closed with a thin door with a red light marking that it was locked. She helped the Garrus lay the right way in bed removing his shoes and his outer coat to help him be more comfortable. She removed her hoodie and boots kicking them to the floor as she pulled the covers over him. He looked so peaceful, so innocent. When the word innocent entered her mind she became sick to her stomach running for bathroom yet again._

_The next morning Shepard once again ran to the bathroom throwing up what little had been in her stomach. In her mind as she tried to push the sleep out of her throat with her bile, tried to remember what she had to drink last night maybe a turian drink gone bad or something with that horrible stuff Krogan drink. No, No she had been good: human food, human beer. Stuff she had been having all the time. She didn't feel hungover, and last night with Zaeed... No she wasn't drunk. Shepard was aware of her actions maybe it was the guilt inside of her killing her slowly. Guilt was raging a war inside of her body causing her to become sick that had to be it. She knew it wasn't somewhere in the back of her mind she knew, she was aware. Shepard would push it awhile more before finally realizing the idea would be true: she was pregnant._

* * *

"You curious aren't you? It is okay everyone else is. It is okay to be asking me if you want to." Shepard shoved her hands deep into her pockets as the ran began once again. They stood under a awning as Zaeed smoked his cigar blowing the smoke away from her face. He stood at the very edge of the awning outside a store with half of its wall gone and into rubble on the inside as Shepard leaned against the cracked glass watching him watch her.

"No I think that little bastard has had enough attention." he pointed to her stomach with his cigar.

"That isn't like you, thinking of me first?" Shepard raised an eyebrow at him which he just replied by rolling his eyes.

"I've been shootin blanks for some time kid. No part of me is worried that lil bugger is going to come out smoking it's own cigar." he flicked the last of his cigar into a puddle and Shepard watched the light at the end of it slowly fade and die into smoke. He put out his arm jokingly for her to take and she declined as he walked with her side by side to the Alliance head station in London. Somewhere in Shepard she could feel a piece of her self relived that she didn't have to talk to Zaeed about the baby and let him know it wasn't his. At the same time she was also happy they walked in silence until they reached the door to a large towering grey building still completely in place.

"That was very nice of you to walk me here. Makes me suspicious." Shepard gave Zaeed a look her eyes squinting. Zaeed playfully punched her in the arm not saying much else he just did what he normally did: stare at her. That was the way they talked sometimes without words and only with flickering and shifting eyes.

"You need to take care of yourself Shepard." he finally said.

"I know but-"

"No 'buts' love." Zaeed interrupted his tone serious his eyes almost crossing with a scowl as he towered over her, "You can tell us time and time again that you will be okay but fact of the matter is that you can't cheat death anymore love. You gots someone to live for now that ain't going to be chasing any tail. Kid going to be looking up to you. You goin to be a mother Shep: Kid will need you for the long run reckon you should think about that." he said the last of his words like he was forced, regret hid behind them. Shepard knew it was hard for him to say that but somehow coming from him she knew he was right.

* * *

"Shepard!" Hackett seemed surprised to already be seeing her again. "You're in my office, so soon?" he asked. He stood behind his desk watching her reflection in the tinted glass ignoring the Reaper with a hole in the side of it outside of his window as he turned his back to the outside world. He could see the look on his face it was one his kids, and grandkids, gave him when they did something wrong.

"Sir, I need to talk to you about something." she motioned for him to sit at his desk as she took a seat in the swivel chair on the other side.


	9. Joker

"I'm fat." Shepard huffed and puffed her way into one of her uniforms, she knew it wouldn't fit. It didn't fit yesterday and stopped fitting two months ago. Finally she ended up grabbing a 3X crewmans shirt that fit like a glove, if that hand in the glove was pregnant.

"You're not fat you're glowing." Miranda reminded her again leaning against the bathroom door of Shepard's Normandy's quarters. Shepard pushed her hair back blowing away the few sweaty strands of it that stuck to her forehead as she nervously brushed away. With all the vitamins Dr. Chakwas had been shoving down her throat she had not realized how much it really made her hair grow, what use to only make a nub of a pony tail now sat three inches below her shoulder blades. Slowly she went to reach for a pair of scissors which Miranda slapped her hand away. Shepard grumbled tucking her hair behind her eyes poking at her cheeks looking at her reflection.

"Fat." she insisted.

"Let it go." Miranda replied.

* * *

_"Jeff, I have a question about humans." EDI insisted as they sat at their usual table at Purgatory._

_"Lay it on me EDI." Joker planted his feet firmly into the ground leaning into the table excited. "I love your questions about humans and how easily you think we can be over ruled."_

_"I never used the word 'easy' Jeff. I simply asked if it can be done in ten steps or less, and it can." EDI's robotic face gave a small smirk. "That was a joke."_

_"I hope so, I thought it would take at least twenty steps." Joker chugged the last of his drink, "Is this what I should be expecting all of shore leave?" he asked._

_"Jeff about that. I understand you wish for me to 'stay' with you during our 'shore leave'"_

_"Why are you using air quotations?" he asked becoming a little nervous. He had asked Shepard if it seemed like a good idea and she said he should go for it. He even asked James, now that they were getting to be good friends, and his answer involved colorful language of things he would do to EDI and then a thumbs up. EDI had that blank stare on her face, the one she got when she could tell Joker had drifted off again somewhere in his mind. He blinked away to clouds in his eyes focusing on her and not the dancers, bar patrons, or noise around him. She said something and he thought he heard her wrong as he put his finger in his right ear cleaning it out, "What?" he asked._

_"I don't think that it is a good idea." she said again. His heart skipped a beat then shot into the acid in his stomach, but he hid it behind a very confused look. EDI knew better though, she always did. "Jeff it has some to my attention that we have not made a actual name for what you and I have. Normally for humans, do they not name their relationships as simply more than 'partners' or 'comrades'?" she asked just simply tilting her head to the side._

_"Yes...they do..." Joker tried to form sentences but couldn't find much more than spending all his efforts keeping his confused face masking over his distraught face matching his upset stomach._

_"We have not done that." EDI pointed out._

_"No we haven't." Joker agreed._

_"I think it would be best if we took the time to figure out what we want." EDI stated, "At least for you being a human I know you have a this thing called 'feelings' you must deal with." She used air quotations again and Joker knew she was doing it to ease the awkwardness of the situation. His super hot robot counterpart wanted them to take a small time apart to figure out what they wanted. he knew what 'they' meant, it meant what HE wanted. Because, whatever he wanted EDI would gladly make that a priority and that was why he liked her so much._

_Somehow that is how he ended up at Shepard's door the first night of Shore Leave after leaving the bar with his duffle bag in hand. She looked at him confused, mostly because she had been asleep, standing at the door in a black t-shirt and long pajama pants. Tired, she moved to the side letting him in._

_"I'm sorry I thought you and EDI were bunking-"_

_"Together?" Joker interrupted throwing his duffle bag on the couch. He took the time to spy around the apartment as the tired Commander Shepard followed him around. The lights in the apartment were dim with a fire roaring as he moved up the stairs to the top floor and Shepard followed her bare feet making no noise as she climb behind him. "No apparently we have been teaching EDI to be too much like a human. She wants us to figure out what we are on shore leave which you know, doesn't make it stressful at all. Also real happy your clone didn't destroy this place holy shit Shepard." Joker gasped leaning over the railing of the balcony and Shepard joined him craning her neck to look down at what amazed Joker. She guessed after being on the Normandy so long anywhere would seem big._

_"Yeah well I still haven't heard the end of destroying that sushi place. Miranda came to see me earlier, gave me a earful about it." Shepard scratched her head her hair sticking out in every direction._

_"Oh shit," Joker realized how late it really was, "I didn't mean to wake you is Garrus still asleep? I can go." he pointed down to the door but Shepard just waved off his worried looking putting her hand over her mouth as she yawned._

_"He isn't here." she held up her hand before Joker could even open his mouth, "Don't want to talk about it." Shepard tapped her fingers on the railing of the balcony her eyes shifting to Joker for only a small glance before looking out at the cars zooming by, "You can stay if you want."_

* * *

Shepard attempted to lean over Joker's chair like she always but with her large stomach it had been deemed impossible and she settle for taking up the chair next to him as he swiveled his around to meet her face to face.

"I would offer you a good-bye drink but..." he shrugged pointing to her stomach, "You seem a little bloated. I'd stop knocking back to many." he suggested.

"I wouldn't be making jokes just yet Joker I am still in charge." she reminded him.

"Yeah then I'll have someone else leaning over my chair and not with such a great upper torso area. Seriously pregnancy does wonders for women's breast." He commented spinning his chair back around to his controls. "We will be arriving momentarily...Commander."

"Thank's Joker, we can get the crew ready for landing. I think I'll just sit here though getting up from a chair nine months pregnant his harder than you think." she grunted attempting to get up from her chair an failing, "So fat." she muttered.

* * *

_Joker just stared at EDI across the table in awe of her beauty, robotic beauty, but still amazing to look at._

_"Jeff, are you aware I was speaking?" EDI asked for the third time. Joker blinked for a moment making everything from blurry cloud of birds and unicorns floating around her to back at the club. _

_"Sorry EDI I got lost in your eyes," he flirted running his finger around his empty drink, "I'll grab another drink."_

_"Jeff a moment please." EDI took his hand stopping him from leaving. He quietly moved to the seat next to her. "Jeff there is something that concerns me a little."_

_"You can be concerned?" he asked jokingly._

_"Jeff it has come to my attention that when you were at the bar earlier Shepard asked you if you were possibly missing out on someone else." she tapped her fingers on the glass table._

_"That? That was a joke." Joker waved her off._

_"Jeff her heart beat and pulse did not move at the speed it does when she is telling a joke. Her pulse stayed the same, she was asking for the truth. Is it true that Shepard and you have possible feelings for each other?" EDI asked._

_"EDI..." Joker moved his seat closer putting his arm around her and putting his hat on her head. Normally that would make her crack a smile and make a joke about human hair. This time though she just sat not moving closer to him. "Really you don't have to worry about that anymore."_

_"Anymore?" EDI repeated. Joker froze for a moment his smile wiped away, "Is it true you use to be involved then? is that why you told her you could never be with someone in Uniform?" she asked._

_"No EDI no a long time ago, and I mean long, back when i first started when Kaidan used to sit next to me before Virmire, before Shepard was a Commander or even Spectre..." he paused for a moment and EDI watched hsi eyes shift back and fourth like he was reading a invisible book. "I had an interest in her yes however being involved with someone in uniform never works. Plus I found out Kaidan had a huge thing for her and he was willing to break those barriers. I wasn't."_

_EDI didn't even wait for him to continue speaking she got up and began heading for the exit. Joker just watched her go, not going after her. He had royally fucked up this situation. He shoulder have lied and just said no. But no, she would have no and he would have been in even bigger trouble than he assumed he was now. Joker headed back to the apartment but not before buying a six pack and two large bottles of heavy liquor. He plopped himself down on the couch setting it to his OMI-Tool filed after realizing Shepard was once again gone for the night. They never were here at the same time except in passing either she was out all night or he was. He found a folder in his files reading 'Pilot Taxes' opening it up and setting it to the tv._

_"What are you watching?" Shepard was standing behind the couch so silent he hadn't heard her come in. He didn't jump or fumble to turn the TV off he continued sipping the last of 6 pack of beer downing it with the last of his liquor as the floor was littered with cans and bottles. Shepard had caught him countless time listening to porn while he ran the Normandy even catching him watching it when everyone else on the ship was sleeping. This to him was not anything different but she took a seat next to him with a half finished bottle in her hand, the same six pack he had bought and a bag of food and more alcohol between them._

_"W-What are you wearing?" he asked looking at her up and down, she wore the most ridiculous trench coat the kind a homeless man would sell stolen watches out of. He snickered a little taking one of the cans of beer she had brought cracking it open blowing on the bubbles that attempted to escape the can. Shepard didn't answer she looked drunk and tired watching the women on the TV. "He is a big Commander, she is one of his team members and lets just say she is getting a 'oral' review." Joker answered the question that Shepard wasn't asking. The girl on TV unzipped her suit wearing nothing underneath as the male Commander leaned back on a red velvet couch smirking._

_"Wait I'm mad at you!" Joker spun around looking back at Shepard with a mouth full of chips hanging from her lips._

_The next thing Joker would remember is waking up, still a little drunk, in a dark room. He felt around realizing he was in his bed and he must have passed out. He sat up for a moment but realized doing so only made him want to throw up so he went right back to flopping down in the bed. He turned to his side looking out down the hall you could hear his porn on the TV downstairs still going on loop probably all night. He closed his eyes shifting around trying to get comfortable putting his head on a squishy small pillow feelings his warmth beneath him as he drifted back to sleep._

_The next time Joker opened his eyes was to the sound of kitchen cabinets downstairs. He groaned forcing himself to get out of bed despite the headache he had. After a quick shower, a lot of throwing up, and some meds he slowly made his way downstairs still grunting and groaning from his hangover._

_"Joker!" Shepard said a little surprised as she sat on the kitchen counter a mouth full of eggs slowly falling from her lips._

_"Reminds me of last night." he pointed to her mouth heading for the coffee maker making himself the blackest and strongest coffee he could._

_"Joker...about that." Shepard begun after swallowing her food._

_"Yeah yeah I know I got really drunk but hey not the first time right?" he shrugged and Shepard put aside her plate. "Last thing I remember is you brining home more beer and...yep no that is it. I am really classy right?" he joked forcing himself to drink the coffee despite being so strong he needed it._

_"Real...Classy..." Shepard muttered before taking her plate throwing the rest of her eggs into the garbage, "You going to apologize to EDI?" she asked._

_"Yeah how did you know?" Joker looked confused._

_"You talk a lot when you are drunk. Kind of blamed me for everything." Shepard shrugged grabbing for her N7 jacket throwing it on. Last time he had seen that leather Jacket it had been James wearing it. He wanted to say something to her about ask if maybe she had to fight to get it back but Shepard looked sick and tired just like when she came home the night before and he figured maybe messing with her right now was not the best thing to be doing. He did need to apologize to EDI and let her know she had nothing to worry about and Shepard was just his commanding officer, his comrade. Shepard took one look at the eggs in the garbage before rushing to the sink to throw up and Joker was right there holding her hair. _

_"Too much?" he asked tightening his grip on her hair in a fashion that felt almost familiar._

_"Something like that." Shepard said spiting out vomit her eyes looking at him over her shoulder before looking back down at the grey metal of the sink now colored with alcohol and eggs._

* * *

The station was very large and snapped like a floating square with a ball in the middle of it as Joker prepared the Normandy to be docked. Once the Normandy was secured he reached over to Shepard helping her up from the chair next to him. She thanking him between grunts as it use to be her having to help him from his chair. Since Cerberus he was able to get around on his own with little to no limping which made his manliness go up over the years. Adams had quickly made his way from the elevator to the doors coming to Shepards aid but she quickly pushed everyone away helping herself off the Normandy with no help from anyone. Hackett had already been there waiting for her and when he attempted to help her down the steps into the docking bay of the station Joker thought she might rip off his officer cap. However by his side was Liara and when she attempted to take Shepard's arm to help her into a small cart to drive them to their next station Shepard agreed with little argument. Her eyes searched the Normandy crew as they slowly came out of the ship like a flood of blue, Joker waved at her because he knew she was looking for him. He saluted her and she the same before the cart Liara was driving shot forward taking off quickly.

"Don't let anything happen to her." he jabbed a attendant with his finger as he made his way across the docking bay. He didn't get close to exiting the docking bay before Samantha Traynor waved him down in the filed of Alliance uniforms.

"Joker, there is a small turian ship whose controls seemed to stop functioning that needs to get her ASAP. Have you seen Cortez?" she asked. Joker shook his head he had not even seen him leave the Normandy with the rest of the crew he was already lost in the sea of blue. Samantha bit her nails nervously looking around for any other pilot, "Nothing can go wrong today." she muttered.

"if it is that big of deal I can take a shuttle out and go get them." Joker said but Samantha didn't wait for him to say anymore before sending the information to his OMI-tool.

* * *

_"How are we looking?" Shepard asked as Samantha Traynor fell into step with her walking the strip of the Normandy to the galaxy map._

_"All systems are good, Adams said he in the crew below have everything with green lights. She is ready to fly Commander." Samantha tapped away at her data pad. "There is just one problem Commander." Shepard stopped in her tracks whipping around so fast Samantha almost ran straight into her._

_"Shepard." Dr. Chakwas came over the comm system, "You are needed in the medical bay."_

_"I will not calm down! Do not 'ask' me to 'kindly' calm down. I will not be calm about this." Joker shouted at Dr. Chakwas pacing back and fourth throwing whatever he could get his hands on. Shepard waddled her way into the Medical Bay ushering for Samantha to stay outside which she did. Two Alliance soldiers had guns pointed at Joker at the entrance which Shepard also sent out. Joker looked up from his frenzy his eyes blazing. "You knew!" he screamed at her._

_Shepard however, was as calm as she could be in this situation. "Dr. Chakwas, could you leave us for just a moment?"_

_"No! No one gets to leave I deserve a answer!" Joker continued to scream pounding his fist on Dr. Chakwas desk sending all her papers flying to the floor. Shepard waddled her way over past Joker her hand over her growing stomach opening the door to the back room to where EDI's body lay lifeless on the table at the far end. Joker stopped his tantrum rushing as fast as he could to her side putting his hand over hers. He knew she wouldn't wake up, he was aware that some part of her wouldn't just turn on._

_She didn't._

_"I had an idea awhile before we went back to Earth." Shepard began talking, "If all her systems are taken offline before something happens to the Normandy then the blue box quantum computer may be trashed but she could be saved on less advanced hardware and reinstalled later. I begged, pleaded to Hackett to research, to bring her back for you. But Alliance was skeptical about her coming back after everything with Synthetics that and she was a unshackled AI. But...the taking blue box out of an AI, they are not the same "individual". Due to quantum fluctuations and uncertainty the pattern is slightly different."_

_"She would come back, but she wouldn't be EDI." Joker finished her thoughts sliding his hand away from EDI's lifeless body. He wiped the tear forming in his eye before he turned back to Shepard his face filled with so many emotions Shepard didn't know if he was going to slap her or hug her._

_"You should have told me she was back on the ship."_

_"I know." Shepard wanted to look away but didn't._

_"You should have told me what you were planning." he demanded his voice cracking a little._

_"I didn't want to give hope til I knew everything." Shepard admitted. Joker just looked at her, he searched her face for the false hope she gave to those that stood against her. Those times she gave someone a long speech about 'hope' and 'prosperity' so they take the gun away from her head. He knew this time it was different. Shepard was never one to be false with him or give up information that wasn't true that had never been their relationship. Her face held shame, for hiding it from him, for not telling him, and for hurting him._

_"The idea of her coming back...not being herself...would be harder to deal with than her never returning." Was all Joker said before leaving Shepard alone in the small room. That wouldn't be it though. That would not be the end of it. Shepard rushed after him as fast as her body would let her snatching his wrist before he could reach the elevator to head back to his station._

_"I asked her to forgive me." Shepard blurted out as the elevator slid open, empty. Joker looked at her bewildered by her statement, "When I had to make the choice before I did I called to her like I would on the Normandy. I asked her to forgive me for not letting the synthetics live. For choosing humanity to thrive when she couldn't. I asked her to forgive me for making her leave you. For a moment I heard her. I don't know if it was from the Indoctrination or from the loss of so much blood but I got a answer: 'He will be fine Shepard. You will not be leaving him alone, he will have you Shepard. Tell him I love him, remind him he will be fine.'"_

* * *

"I still don't know how I got put into doing this." James grunted from the co-pilot seat as the shuttle boarded the last of the Turians. Joker pressed a couple buttons moving the ship away from the larger one as everyone got strapped in as the slowly made their way back to the large station.

"I get bored flying alone." Joker joked.

As they landed the shuttle back in the large station twenty minutes later and the last of the turians shook his hand thanking him for the hundredth time it was Miranda who came running and waving for him this time.

"I am really popular today." he nudged James in the ribs who just rolled his eyes.

"Where the hell have you been?" Miranda shouted making all eyes in the docking bay turn to her, "Shepard has gone into labor!"


	10. Shepard

_"That was the second worst idea I ever had." the girl grunted taking a seat in the corner by the window in the semi-square of chairs over looking a large fountain area. She sat two seats away facing him looking out at the water with a ice pack on her face. Her lip was cut, still bleeding her Alliance shirt had a large rip where a cut must have been healed from Medi-Gel her boots covered in mud with signs of blood._

_"Just stay here until Anderson is free." A officer hovered over her a moment waiting for her to try something. She didn't. Relieved he walked away making a beeline for the secretary's desk. The girl tucked her brown hair behind her ears her face wincing from the ice pack in her hand her eyes caught watching the people walk along the bridges over the fountain area._

_She took her eyes off the water looking at the young many across from her. He pretended not to be starting and just looked outside like she had. He wasn't cut, bruised, or injured so he must have done something really bad to be in the hot sea of Anderson's office. He hat a baseball cap on with the Alliance symbol golden and perfect in the front, he looked built well not overly buff like a lot of the meatheads in Alliance. She liked his beard, she caught herself starting at his face, she had never been one for facial hair but this one..._

_"Don't I know you from somewhere?" finally asked cutting the silence._

_He perked up from his slouched position straightening his back and clearing his throat. "I tend to remember people I meet that look like hell." he replied. He wasn't angry with her words though she could see a smirk hiding under the baseball cap._

_baseball cap._

_"You're that guy that stole the Normandy." Shepard whistled a little leaning forward removing the ice pack from her swollen cheek. "You have been the talk of the cafeteria."_

_"Yeah well, what can I say? Prom not as impressive to talk about over lunch as the crippled guy who stole a ship?" Joker joked and for once someone, a girl, laughed a little at his joke. He smiled his body becoming warm all over. _

_"No the big pep rally has been reschedule due to it." The girl played along playing with the ice pack in her hands. "I don't think Johnny will take me to the Big Game now."_

_"Hell I'll take you, if you don't mind taking a cripple." he meant it as a joke but realized very quickly the word 'cripple' tend to make those few around him nervous and embarrassed. He remembered hitting on a girl in a bar but at the sound of the word 'crippled' was gone in seconds. _

_"You would have to be okay with taking-"_

_"Shepard? Anderson will see you now." The secretary put down the phone smiling. Shepard smiled back nodding before getting up. She went to put out her hand to shake Joker's but took it back as soon as she left it in the air._

_"Shepard? as in Shepard the Ruthless from Torfan?" he asked. He had been sitting with a legend and not just any legend; one that was considered one of the most ruthless Alliance soldiers to ever be a N7. Not just a N7 though, the best N7 that there ever was. But she looked so normal, in some stories he heard she was secretly a man ora scar across her face: big and menacing. _

_"Yeah not so scary huh? Well minus the face." she pointed to her swollen cheek. He opened his mouth to say something, apologize even, but Shepard was not going to keep Anderson waiting and simply just walked away from him leaving him with his mouth opened._

* * *

Shepard stood in a room filled with some of the most important people of the galaxy of every species. They chatted and cooed over her and the station like she was child with a drawing. Hackett pranced her around the room meeting everyone, shaking hands, and smiling so much her face hurt badly. She was happy though to take a minute and eat some food. Wrex was by her side not bothering to shake hands or 'dilly dally' with politics as he called it. It was one bite into a bread roll her water broke and a scream came from Shepard deep within her soul. She praised the gods she had Wrex to clear a path for her and Liara by her side or else she might as well have given birth on the buffet table.

"The medical wards! right hall!" Liara shouted between grunts and screams from Shepard. "I need Dr. Chakwas!"

"I have already called her." Kasumi appeared out of thin air by her side followed by Samara who made her way from a group of Asari.

"I need Joker!" Shepard said screaming out in pain her hands on her stomach. "I need to get to the Normandy."

"You can't be serious." Ashley fell into step with the rest of the group followed by Samantha Traynor and Steve Cortez.

"He isn't here. I sent him to get a shuttle that stopped in space." Samantha admitted. Shepard stopped in her tracks causing everyone around her to stop as well. Shepard grabbed Samantha by the collar of she shirt so tightly the young girl began to cough.

"You listen and you listen well Samantha. The Normandy is my ship until I give up my reins which should have been twenty minutes ago." Shepard's voice was in a low growl the one you hear from a protective primitive animal, "You will get me to my ship, you will find Joker and Dr. Chakwas, and I will not for the love of the gods send you out a airlock into space." The hall had grown dead quiet a silence that could cut the tension with a knife. Liara put her hand of Shepard's helping her slowly let go of Samantha's collar. Liara took Shepard's hand in hers as the fire died from her eyes. "I'm sorry Traynor."

"It is alright Shepard." Samantha put her hand over her own throat before stepping aside as Shepard moved quickly. Hackett trotted ahead making himself to Shepard's right side opposite of Liara as the large group headed into the docking bay. Zaeed, Jack, and Javick who had been smoking and sitting on Cargo shipments in the docking bay all three moved quickly to join the large group. Grunt came off a Krogan shuttle that just landed jumping up and down excitedly. The airlock door was already open and once again when Shepard stopped the team stopped. Garrus stood at the opening leaning against the door a huge smirk on his face.

"Ready?" he asked holding out his hand.

"Ready as I can be." she answered taking his hand.

* * *

_"Nice guard dogs you have out there." Garrus said letting himself into Shepard's room. She was sitting in her bed looking over London from her bed room window. As the door closed both Joker and James had their arms folded leaning against the door nodding to her to let Shepard know that they would be right outside the door._

_"They mean well just so hard to potty train." Shepard joked putting down her data pad setting it aside. Shepard moved aside under the covers as Garrus took a seat on the bed. This was the first time they had been alone together since her time in the hospital it had only been a couple months but here he was finally coming to see her. Shepard was nervous to be alone with him because to be honest she was afraid of what would happen._

_"I finally found out what a chicken in, not that impressed though." Garrus said cutting the awkward silence. It made Shepard smile and she went to reach to take his hand but Garrus kept them between his legs. Shepard slowly took her hand back resting it in her lap and biting the inside of her cheek out of embarrassment. She looked at him, really looked at him, he looked tired. Garrus had been away from Palaven for such a long time it probably was getting him not being able to get home yet. With the Mass Effect relays still not repaired no one has been able to get outside the Sol system it would take too long to be able to travel anywhere. She was sure he missed his sister, his father, and his home. Right now that wasn't what was just bothering him and she knew it, it was them._

_"Garrus I-"_

_"Me first." he interrupted turning to her, "Shepard I am sorry. Sorry for hurting you. I am sorry that you and I kept up this show that we had a perfect relationship just to give the galaxy a little bit of hope. I am sorry we never took a moment to just sit and talk about our issues and kept up the act even alone. I am sorry things with Tali ended up working out and I fell in love with her."_

_"How Garrus? How can you just be with me love me and love her? That isn't possible. You can't love two people." Shepard begged. She knew his answer it was written all over his face. Garrus didn't love her anymore. "How?" she asked._

_"Shepard I...it isn't black and white Shepard. It is not like the feelings I had with you just died with the Reapers. I loved you-"Garrus stopped as he realized he used the word 'love' in a past tense form. What hurt Shepard most was he did it without thinking. "You cheated on me."_

_"You cheated on me too." she replied._

_"With who? With how many? Do you even know?" he asked looking at her stomach for a moment before his eyes shifted back to hers._

_"I did because I felt lost. I had know from the moment I picked up the quarians you were with Tali or had been with Tali." Shepard admitted_

_"You knew?" he asked a little embarrassed._

_"I saw you two working on your 'calibrations'" Shepard played with the frays of her blanket keeping her eyes away from his._

_"Why didn't you say something?" he asked._

_"Why didn't you?" she responded._

_They sat in silence in a pool of their own embarrassment. Shepard knew if she had just confronted Garrus about him and Tali or the lustful affairs she had they might have made things work. If she had been honest and be there more maybe they wouldn't be drifting as far as they were right now. Her eyes drifting back to him she tried to push past all the anger and rage inside of both of them and see Garrus for just himself, funny and great with a sniper._

_"Does she make you happy?" Shepard asked knowing the answer could hurt even more than she wanted._

_Tali slowly crept into his mind. How she gave him a sense of a purpose, happiness even. She had been there in ways he didn't know someone could be and constantly supporting him. In any emergency she made her way to him making sure she was okay. She had this motherly comfort about her that made him feel at ease especially with being from Palaven for so long. Tali always knew exactly what to say even if she stuttered her calm words along the way. He liked who he was with her and the strength that she gave him._

_Garrus looked up from the wood floor and into her green eyes. He remembered the way they shined in the dim light of her quarters on the Normandy, how they looked faded when her drifted off in her own mind, or how they looked so big in the darkness filled with wants and knees. His stomach and mind began to fill with remembrance of her touch in bed the way she always made herself on his right side on a mission. He wanted to forget every touch that she had ever put on him he wanted to forget how whole she made him feel. Garrus wanted to forget how they held each other on London giving her orders to come back alive. He knew however, he couldn't ever forget the things they had been through after all he went through it all with her. He didn't mean to say love in a past tense but he knew what they had came to survive collectors and reapers but somehow couldn't survive a warless world._

_"Yes." Garrus said breaking the silence along with Shepard's heart. He knew it killed her just that one word. He didn't have to say anything he scooted back on the bed and she crawled out from the covers curling into a ball under his arms They sat there for sometimes in silence as Garrus held her in his arms and Shepard just let out wipers her tears falling onto his suit. They knew this moment was one to say goodbye, to watch what they had fought and lost come to a close as he held her in a way more intimate then they could remember._

_"I should have fought harder, been there for you and listened. I should have-"_

_"We both should have." He interrupted holding her tighter. _

_Shepard shot up moving her head from under his arm and sitting back straight her hands moving over her stomach and she let out a yelp. Joker and James were in the room in seconds flat both ready to throw Garrus out of the house. _

_"Really?" he asked sarcastically. Shepard took Garrus hand putting on her stomach and he looked at her for a moment confused but then it happened. "It...it kicked!" he exclaimed. _

* * *

"Did we miss anything?" Miranda asked making her way out of the elevator with Joker and James and Jacob waited against the far wall.

"Nope nothing yet." Jacob fell into sync with their walking and when they turned the corner around the elevator everyone you could imagine from the Normandy crew was sitting around at the tables and chairs, on counters in the small kitchen talking in hushed tones, waiting. A scream came form the med lab but all the curtains were drawn. The door slid open and out came Ashley along with Garrus looking frazzled. Ashleys tiny pop belly poked a little out of her shirt as she tugged it down marching over to James over to James smacking him on the back of the head for leaving her and their baby to be alone without a message. As she threatened to throw her wedding ring out the air lock Garrus made his was over to Joker and Miranda.

"She wants to see you." he flicked Joker's hat. Joker exchanged a look with Miranda who just let out a shrug. He knew not to keep Shepard waiting he pushed his way through the crew letting himself into the Medical room. Shepard was pacing the room in the night gown as Liara paced with her reminding her to keep breathing which Shepard reminded her was something she could never forget. Dr. Chakwas was sitting in her chair as usual typing away at her desk telling Shepard that the more she walks the fast they can induce the labor. Shepard made a hand signal with her middle finger behind Dr. Chakwas head to which she replied she see's everything. Shepard grabbed onto the medical bed in front of her holding her stomach grunting heavily, she looked like hell her hair falling over her face sticking to the sweat. Dr. Chakwas reminded her this would have already been over if she had it on the station.

"No, the Normandy is where this is happening not anywhere else." Shepard heaved a little looking up noticing this is the first time she had seen Joker come into the room. "Can we have a moment?" she asked to Dr. Chakwas and Liara. Dr. Chakwas opened her mouth the protest but Liara already grabbed her arm and pulling her out of the room. Shepard pushed back her hair and Joker knew form that movement and her expression she was nervous.

"Hey you died like twice already so giving birth has to be like opening a jar of pickles for you." He joked closing the space between them in the room. He sat on the medical bed next to the one Shepard was leaning against only a couple feet from her swinging his legs back an fourth like a child. "You sure you don't want to go have it in my pilot chair?"

"Yeah you would have to burn it after the birth probably and I know how much you love that leather seating." Shepard joked rubbing her stomach and pushed her hair back out of her face. He could tell she was biting the inside of her cheek he had known her so long it was so surprise to know when she was beginning to freak out, which never happened.

"Joker I have to tell you something..." Shepard looked white as a sheet.

"Okay shoot, actually don't you might pop out a baby from the excitement." Joker said. Shepard however didn't laugh. Instead she put hr hand over her mouth about to be sick as she rushed to the sink but the door to throw up. Joker rushed to help her but Shepard put out her hand behind her as she leaned over the sink. Joker took her swinging hand grabbing her by the wrist with his right hand using his left to quickly swoop up her hair gripping it tightly. Shepard let out a soft yelp leaning over the sink waiting for the bile to leave her body. She waited and waited and when nothing would come out she just shoot her head. Joker blinked as he realized Shepard was telling him he wasn't going to be sick. Thats when he looked down to see his body was pushed against her back, his hand holding hers back, his other hang gripped in her hair in a way he felt had become somehow second nature. He was pressed against her in a intimate way and he quickly let go of any part touching her and stepped back. Shepard turned around her face flushed tucking her hair behind one of her ears.

"Joker..." she begun but he waved his arms frantically.

"I am sorry Comm- Shep. Shepard. Madam. I just. I must have just I don't know I just. It reminded me of..." Joker's words came to a close his eyes widen as his mouth dropped open. He knew.

She knew he knew, that he remembered.

Then he passed out.

* * *

_"Excuse me?" Shepard slurred as she finished the rest of her bottle of cheap but working alcohol before, "You're MAD at me?"_

_"Yeah I am!" Joker shot up from the couch stumbling as he did. He turned his back to her his eyes fixated on the TV. a blonde and busy women suggestively held a paperweight near her mouth oh her Commander's lap running her fingers along his shaft. Joker watched the busy women bounce on the Commander in the 'movie's lap Joker's body began to feel warm inside as he pictured himself inside of that movie in his pilot chair. At least he was until a empty can smacked him in the back of the head. Jokers spun around three times before finally getting it right and facing Shepard._

_"What?" he asked._

_"What?" she looked at him confused and pointed to the TV, "I'm watching this."_

_Joker apologized and flopped into the couch grabbing himself another can of bear from the bag and cracking it open letting the cold liquid fall into his mouth refusing to lift his head as he tasted the tartness behind the wheat and lemon. They proceeded to share a bottle batarian ale which Shepard demand he not tell a soul she had. It took him twenty minutes later of slurring with Shepard about dance moves vs. sex moves to sit up and a light went on in his head._

_"I'm mad because you are the reason EDI is mad at me!" Joker looked as three Shepard's turned into one Shepard who sat forward spinning a little, "Are your coat looks stupid!"_

_"My coat is not stupid!" she spat back sipping her drink._

_"EDI thinks you are the reason we can't be in love or date? I don't know?" Joker became confused as to why everything he said sounded like a question. "Because you hit on me!"_

_"No...No I didn't..." Shepard shook her head turning over her can of beer finding it empty. She shuffled her fingers through the bag finding it empty she took the bag and put it over Joker's head._

_When Joker pulled the bag off his head he looked around to find that Shepard was gone. He got off the couch again staggering a little bit before taking very large steps around the apartment first floor like he was stretching. "You said I missed someone under my nose and you meant yourself. EDI got upset because she thinks I harbor secret feelings about you." he said looking around the kitchen grabbing a popsicle from the fridge. It was green the color of a lime but tasted horrible like grass or kale. he threw it in the sink making his way back to the living room. It took him almost a minute to walk ten steps due to his fear the floor would turn to water since everything was making him seasick._

_"Do you?" Shepard asked her voice echoing across the room. Joker looked up seeing her hang over the railing to the balcony swinging her arms to the techno beat playing loudly on the porno in the other room. As Joker reached the top of the stairs almost crawling because of the difficulty Shepard was still swinging her arms over the balcony not noticing Joker had come to her side. Joker just made a shrugging noise followed by grunts and mumbles of his answer hanging his hands over the edge along with her. When Shepard asked him what he said Joker just pushed her arm against his as he hung his head over. They watched his hat lifelessly make its way down stairs falling with not even a sound. Joker pushed off the balcony losing his balance and hitting the back wall. he shrugged it off falling into walls into he made it to his bedroom across the apartment from Shepard's. Shepard followed him in finding that Joker had his head against the far wall._

_"I did something stupid." Shepard started talking not waiting for Joker to asked, "I put myself out there tonight because I was feeling needy and ignored. I mean who leaves in the middle of date to fuck someone else? He does. So I did the same now here I am a idiot putting myself out there because I want someone to give me attention and tell me I am pretty." Shepard was breathing heavily after she finished talking a weight off her chest._

_"You're pretty." Joker said turning around. "Very pretty. So it was dumb for a guy like me not to remember to ask you to prom."he said. Shepard gave him a confused look but then her eyes brighten as she remembered the first conversation she had ever had with Joker, the one where they both waited to be scolded by Anderson for what they had done. Joker closed the space between them and Shepard realized he was taller than her just by a little but still taller. Under the lights of the Normandy his eyes always had a blue tint but upclose she always forgot they were really green the color of green that made you picture a forest. Joker yanked on the trench coats belt ripping it off and yaking the back off it off of Shepard. He had been so quick and nimble Shepard was a little suprised he had even done it._

_Drunkenly he gazed upon her body. Shepard just stood in front of him the look of shock stuck on her face. She wore a black lace only bray underneath a black silk spaghetti strap pajama dress so short he knew sitting on it all he could imagine. Joker's face became flush his heart beating rapidly and not from the batarian ale. He had dreams like this, wet ones, and woke up confused and ignored them. It was natural for someone to have dazy dreams of this but most of them involved his pilot chair and sometimes Miranda. 'Beautiful' was the word he whispered closing the very little space they had his hip hit against hers._

_Shepard had never seen joker so calm and collected. He wasn't making a joke at her expense which was a surprise enough for her. He took a strand of her short hair tucking it behind her ear now Shepard felt a heat grow inside of herself. Her heart began to pound so loudly she was sure Joker could hear it he was so close to her._

_"Why would any turian, or any species for that matter, turn this down?" he whispered his right hand wrapped around her waist pulling her against him._

_"Some men are fools. They only want a women when they are drunk. In the morning it is all forgotten and they can move on. Like meat to a animal." she answered her forehead leaning against his shoulder as she felt his cold fingers running up and down her spine._

_"Good thing they aren't men but boys." He joked taking in the smell of alcohol and lavender in her hair._

_"You're drunk." she pointed out._

_"You are no meat to a animal. Don't act innocent I know you have something burning in you." He nuzzled his mouth into her neck as his teeth it the skin biting a little it sent a shock through Shepard's body. He pulled away taking her by the hand and leading her to the bed. He nodded for her to get in it and the drunk Commander did feeling a heat on her body as her flushed face made her feeler hotter. She crawled under the blankets and blacked out from the alcohol for a moment because next thing she knew Joker was crawling into the bed in just a pair of black boxer briefs. She flopped her head back on the pillow dizzy from the sight and the alcohol make two or five of everything she saw as it spun into a circle._

_Joker, having the same issue of being so incredibly drunk, all his movements weren't suave but sloshed like his alcohol in his stomach. They were both too drunk to move in a way that was not only functionally useful but they looked like blind kids looking for help as they bumped heads as Joker crawled into the bed with her. They laughed and cursed their bodies pumping and hitting each other awkwardly. Normally any one would feel embarrassed even nervous but the two of them were passed drunk eight legal drinks ago any everything felt like a ferris wheel going sideways. Joker finally got next to Shepard under the blankets leaning over her but in his poor drunk vision was like he was towering over a wolf in a innocent sheeps clothing._

_"When...was the last time someone took care of your needs?" he whispered over her not taking his eyes from hers. Shepard just blinked and moved her shoulders in a motion as if to say she didn't know._

_"I don't want to break you." she warned him._

_"Break a rib or two its fine. Cerberus healed me just for this." he smiled watching Shepard return it with one of her own. She never smiled with her teeth it was like a wolf to never showing its fangs, she was the animal looking for meat._

_He wanted to be it._

_Joker moved his finger slowly over her break yanking away at the material of her silk slip pulling it over her head. He put his hand over her break making his way underneath the material of her bra feeling the warmth of her breast as he cupped it his finger making their way to her nipples pulling on them softly. He massaged her breast feeling how they felt in his hands big, but not too well endowed and nothing about her figure seemed boyish. He moved his mouth slowly to her collar bone nibbling at it lightly and as he moved his mouth down her body he unhooks the back of her bra tossing it aside. His mouth moved to her breast the other he groped lightly then furiously watching her reactions to liking the small pain he was giving her. He smiled her nipple caught in his teeth as he pulled at watching pleasure rush over her face as her fingers grabbed at the sheets and slowly moved to his back. THe feeling of her nails on his spine gave him chills he had never felt before as he kept his tongue on her chest his hand sliding down her stomach, past her waist, and in between her legs. He put his finger of the mesh and lace material of her panties thumbing at the lips between her legs and over her clit._

_She moaned his name loudly._

_Joker wasted no time ripping the material away from her skin as it got lost in the sheets, he pushed her legs open position himself between them kissing and biting at her thighs until his mouth was right on her heat. He watched her fingers move to his head her nails lightly grazing against his scalp feeling the softness of his hair as he slowly moved his mouth into her heat. He was skilled with his tongue moving it over her clit as her nails moved down to his shoulders digging in. He flicked it with his tongue biting at it with his teeth as he slowly moved his fingers inside of her arching them to that special spot inside of her that made Shepard drip over his hands. He put a second finger inside of her feeling the muscles of her body tighten at his touch. Her body arched back higher the faster he moved his quick fingers in and out of her with ease loosening up the inside of her. He didn't notice she had taken one of her hands away from digging in his back to reaching for his shaft only to attempt to grab the head. He made a soft moan inside her heat pulling away and wiping his face. Shepard pushed him back as he fell over the covers she climbed ontop of him. She could feel the bulge in his tight boxer briefs she she sat on top of it the lips between her legs wet as it slid between them. Shepard reached past Jokers head reaching for something only to come back with a bottle of a neon blue alcohol in her hand. He had not seen her bring that upstairs or hide before but not she unscrewed the top taking a quick drink and passing him the bottle as he did the same throwing it to the floor. She gave him a stern look upset he would waste her alcohol as she climbed off of him reaching over the side of the bed to grab the bottle rolling away from her spilling out. Joker rolled over grabbing the hand reaching for the alcohol pulling it behind her back her wrist caught in his grip as he took his other hand and grabbed her hair knotting it in his grip he pulled her back towards him._

_She could feel his throbbing member against her backside, his back against hers as he yanked at her hair holding her hand back from pushing him away. His mouth made its way to her neck biting at it hard as she yelped his name she could feel a grin around the teeth sticking into her. He yanked her back throwing her back on the bed putting his hands on her wrist keeping her down but she wasn't trying to go anywhere. He looked at her the way he had described to her and Shepard saw how bad he craved it. He leaned in to kiss her their lips barley touching as he whispered his voice giving her chills._

_"Do you want it?" he asked pulling his face away as she tried to lean in._

_"If you don't mind." she said trying not to plead. Shepard always thought Joker would be a gentle possibly awkward kisser just because of his nature. Yet as his lips touched her he devoured her. His lips tasted of sweet alcohol his lips not so gentle attacked hers. He pressed hard and pulled away taking her bottom lip in his teeth and it killed her to have his lips leave her. Shepard put her arms around his neck pulling him in kissing him as hard as she could. She grabbed at his boxier briefs feelings his smirk as she kissed him pulling them down. He pulled away from her helping himself out of the last piece of clothing he had. Joker looked at Shepard face her mouth gaped open, staring. _

_"What?" he asked a little confused._

_"You...well endowed." Shepard waved her hand to his lower body. _

_"Coming from a woman like you, that means the world." he put his hand over his heart._

_"No Joker, you are really...well endowed." she pulled him into her kissed him. His face grew flush and he tried to hide it in her hair but she knew and she found it endearing. She gripped his thick swelling member in her hand shifting her legs wider putting the head of his cock in the lips of her heat. He groaned her name as his cock pushed past the tight walls of her body unable to handle the please. He moved slowly in and out of her waited for both of them to get situated._

_"You're so tight..." he grunted moved slowly feeling how wet she was._

_"You're so huge." she wrapped her legs around his lower body. He started moving quickly kissing her his mouth pressed against hers as he shifted in and out feeling her wetness dripping out of her and down his cock. He took one of her legs moving it over his shoulder pumping faster and faster out of her. He groaned watching her perfect pale breast bounced as he fucked and god he couldn't help but love it. He wanted to move to show her all the different ways he could have her but she tugged at him begging for him not to move for his body not to leave pressed against hers._

_Have you ever had a dream where it felt so real when you woke up you found yourself so surprised to be in bed because you really thought it was happening? That is what happened to Shepard when she woke up the next morning. He head was killing her and she felt so sick she needed to find a bathroom quickly. Looking around Shepard found herself confused as to why she wasn't in her own bed. Last thing she remembered was buying alcohol on the Casino strip and heading home. Home. Joker. Joker was sitting on the couch and they were arguing. Shepard felt a heaviness in her chest, literally. Looking down Shepard saw a head resting on her naked breast and her heart almost shot out of her body. Joker was sound asleep his arms wrapped around her. Shepard tried to relive the night before figure out what led to this, maybe they just passed out. That maybe their clothes got dirty and taking them off seemed like a good idea? Shepard tried to think of every excuse for this but she knew better. Alcohol and waking up naked with someone the next morning meant exactly what it was. Shepard slowly lifted Joker's head setting it down on the pillow, she was lucky he was a heavy sleeper as she slowly crawled out of bed grabbing what little clothes she had and stepping out of the room. Her head was killing her, her stomach sick and she knew she couldn't say anything. Joker would probably have a stroke. Shepard threw the clothes on her bed flopping down on it and crawling under the covers. She felt sick but all she wanted to do was go to sleep and forget everything_.

* * *

Joker blinked letting his eyes focus looking around to see he was in the Med bay of the Normandy. He remembered everything as it slowly crawled into the front of his brain. He looked around to see Dr. Chakwas making her way to him opening his eyes examining them. He pushed her away sitting up to find Shepard laying in the bed next to him covered in sweat.

"Almost there Shepard." Liara said looking at her Omi-Tool, "Hold on a little longer." Shepard nodded looking tired letting her eyes close for just a few moments. When she opened them she looked right at Joker not with pity but with regret.

"I should have told you." Shepard said something she found herself saying too much.

"Yeah you should have." Joker replied pushing down his hat over his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Shepard said between grunts and heavy breathing.

"That is all you have to say?" he asked the anger rising in his voice.

"Joker what the hell was I supposed to do?" she asked.

"Tell me!" he shouted back at her.

"How? 'Hey Joker remember how we got drunk? Well I'm pregnant. I know you are dating someone and so am I but hey lets make it work.'" Shepard's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"No..I just..." His voice was interrupted by a scream deep from inside of Shepard. In two swift movements Liara and Dr. Chakwas had her prepped and ready to go as tubes made their way inside of her body a monitor set up behind her for not just her body but ready for the new ones. Shepard screamed again curling her balls into a fist shaking her head.

"I can't do this!" Shepard shook her head sideways harder.

"Yes you can you just need to push now okay?" Liara tried to soothe her. That is when Joker stepped up to the plate without another thought. He was angry at her for keeping this from him, he was angry for not remembering a thing about it until today. Something so important with someone like her was something you didn't want to forget. He had, but could he blame himself really? Either of them? They were in rough places and found comfort in someone they knew well. Joker took her hand in his and her screaming stopped as she looked to him for guidance.

"You stopped the Collectors, destroyed the Reapers, and died. I am pretty sure you can pop out one kid." he joked but it made her feel better.

"Its two." Liara said. "We've got two."

"What?" Joker and Shepard said in unison turning to the asari.

To Be Continued!


	11. Little Shepards

"Well Shepard you are a hard person to get to sit in a chair without some crisis being thrown at you." Diana Allers smirked getting more comfortable in her white leather chair as the video drone zoomed behind her getting a close up. Diana pulled up her data pad with all of her information as Shepard came from behind her large desk taking a seat at the chair across from the news reporter. Shepard's office was large with a wall of information at her touch, a large cid screen with a control pannel, a closet for her armory, and even a war table with pool, a bar, and a lounging area. Shepard had done what she could to make her office like a small home the nights she had fallen asleep here surpassed counting on her hands and toes. Shepard adjusted her black collar, today she wore a simple black button up dress shirt with the sleeved rolled up, black straight pants, and black dress loafers. It made her skin look pale but she thanked the god she was aging very slowly thanks to Cerberus all those years ago.

"Shepard news reporters have attempted for years to get you to sit down and audience everywhere have been wondering what our Hero is doing now with the 18th Anniversary of the end of the Reapers." Diana asked leaning on her elbow on the armrest of her chair.

"Well reporters have never really been good to me minus you of course Allers." Shepard joked trying to ignore the floating drone.

"Yes and I believe the last time you were supposed to sit down for a interview you went into labor." Diana added with a wide smile and Shepard could see the wrinkles in her face tighten and relax making her face look like a piece of leather. "Tell us about your kids Shepard. They will be of age soon correct?" Diana asked.

"Yes." Shepard answered shortly.

"Do you think both will want to enlist? Follow in their mother's footsteps?" Diana asked pressing a little more.

"I like to keep my children out of the interview if that is alright." Shepard answered waving her hand. Diana nodded fumbling around on her datapad for a moment before continuing.

"Shepard you turned down not once but three times in the last eighteen years a seat on the council. Do you think you will ever reconsider?" Diana asked.

"Steven Hackett is doing a wonderful job representing Earth and Humans on the new council seating. If anyone should be showing the galaxy what he can do and what we can accomplish it is him." Shepard answered nodding her head in agreement with her own words.

"As for you?" Diana pushed.

"As for me I still run the Anderson Academy. I help children those who came out of the war without parents until a certain age, learn to use their biotics, protect themselves in this galaxy, give them knowledge to understand other species and the galaxy, and learn about our past mistakes with the Reapers and how to keep that from happening again. The school still runs here on a newly made, and better running, part of the Citadel."

"Yes Shepard when this station was made to host as a new Citadel you were the front runner and running the whole station and how does that stand today?"

"I still am head advisor for this whole station. I make sure no species from Humans to Elcor to Vorcha are under any council thumb. We all answer and stand equally here on the newly built council. We made the mistake last time-"

"More like the council made the mistake of not trusting you." Diana interrupted glowing.

"Yes. That won't happen again." Shepard answered trying to hide her smirk behind her hand.

"With trust comes the talk with you reinstating Cerberus. A lot of eyes crossed at the sound of you wanting to bring that black ops back into light." Diana raised one of her eyebrows.

"The new lead of the Cerberus black ops makes this different. There is no Cerberus becoming its own team against is strictly Alliance and run very strict and almost as hard to get into as N7 to the fact we made it a option for anyone who failed out of the N7 program to give them a fighting chance. We always need good soldiers."

Forty minutes later Miranda walked into Shepard's office finding her shaking hands with Diana Allers as the reporter was leaving her drone humming behind her. Diana nodded to Miranda her lips pressed into a thin line looking at the ex-Cerberus up and down and letting out a large sigh as she passed. Miranda physically had not aged at all in the last 18 years and it made more than a few women scowl in her direction. Miranda watched Shepard lean against her large black marble desk running her hands into her brown hair pushing it back.

"You're stressed." Miranda pointed out crossing her arms over her freshly pressed Alliance commanding navy blue uniform with the large Cerberus patch over her breast.

"All anyone wants to bring up is 'Cerberus is bad.', 'Batarian are bad.', 'Are you kids even real.'" Shepard waved her hand in the air as if the list went out for miles.

"Well rest assured the newest batch of recruits for Cerberus has been magnificent. We sent last months out to Turchanka to help out with the Krogans 'spring cleaning.' Urdnot Wrex sends his regards." Miranda watched hepard's face relax for a moment and as the First Human Spectre went to open her mouth Miranda was ready to intterupt, "Grunt sends his too."

"Good." Shepard let out a sigh of relief, "Him and that Thresher Maw mission a few weeks ago worried me. I haven't received word."

"He had been in the med bay recovering but that is what you get for trying to house train a Queen Thresher Maw." Miranda shrugged, "He has his tank mothers spirit."

"Speaking of mother..." Shepard looked up from the floor.

"That is why I am here Shepard." Miranda said but was drowned out by Shepard's groan. "The Normandy has docked into the station."

* * *

James was holding the young boy by the ear dragging him out of the Normandy with such haste the boy could barley keep up. In his other hand he had it gripped tightly around his daughters arm ignoring her constant whining about how he embarrassed her. Her bun had come undone and her raven hair spilled out over her face hiding her tanned skin hiding the light brown eyes she inherited from her mother. James Vega could here footsteps following into sync with his and did not wait to see who it was he knew exactly who was following them.

"If you weren't too old to be grounded you would be." Joker barked at the boy being held by the ear tugging at his flight uniform collar as they marched into a shuttle bay waiting for one to pick them up. James finally let go of the boys ear as the shuttle arrived. As the door opened to let them in Ashley stood in the entrance her foot tapping and her mouth twisted into a pout. Holding on to her leg was a small girl in a light blue and white sailor dress with the same light skin as Ashley but with James hair color spilled into wavy pigtails and his eyes. She gave a toothy grin running over to James as he picked her up putting him on her shoulders.

"Is Sarah in trouble?" The little girl asked as the group piled into the shuttle and it took off.

"Yes she is darling. But you would never break your old papas heart eh?" He asked as the little girl ran her hands through his hair giggling.

"Momma said you wouldn't be back for weeks!" the little girl shrieked excitedly.

"Yes well then your wonderful sister had to-"

"Let it go mom!" Sarah interrupted Ashley leaned against the fall of the shuttle already annoyed. Ashley whipped her head around so fast Joker thought she might be possessed by the devil.

"Watch your mouth!" Ashley spat at her eldest daughter.

"_Esto es solo tan jodidamente estupido_." Sarah muttered turning her head away from her parents.

"Aren't you angry Uncle Joker?" The little girl asked as the shuttle came to a stop in the embassy district.

"Oh no Abby. These two have to answer to a higher source this time. I plan on just watching." Joker said smacking the boy on the back of the head.

* * *

Shepard was leaning against her desk tapping away at her datapad pad speaking with Miranda when the crew had entered her office. Normally he would be delighted to be seeing her son coming into her office however this was not the time.

"Your ass is in so much trouble." A boy sitting on the couch in the far right side of the room called out.

"Shut the hell up Kaidan." The boy entering with Joker said followed by Kadian giving a hand gesture with his middle finger.

"Thane!" Shepard shouted at her son who just shoved his hands into his pockets. Both boys had Jokers soft colored green as opposed to the bright colored ones of Shepards, they had both gotten her chestnut hair worn short although Kaidan was always swept to the side a little longer unlike his brother. The both had very light pale skin like their parents and a large amount of freckles scattered on their faces and boy just like Shepards. Both boys had facial hair like their fathers with Kaidan having a think growing mustache like Jokers without the beard but Thane staying freshly clean constantly on his face. They had both gotten Shepards diamond shaped face and her lips and she was thankful the day they were born to have Jokers nose and not her thin 'disney princess' nose as Jack had called it Both boys and Sarah, James and Ashley's eldest daughter, were all wearing their Anderson Academy uniforms very similar to Alliance crewman uniforms.

"Miranda would you mind taking Abby for a moment?" Ashley asked as the little girl ran across the room taking Miranda by the hand.

"Ice cream!" the little girl shouted out the door dragging Miranda who closed the door behind her. Shepard looked from Thane to Joker who was removing his pilots cap shaking his head at his son. He was aging well with only a little salt and pepper in his beard and hair to show his age but he was still the same pilot she had always known.

"Well do you two want to explain yourself?" Shepard asked wanting to get the ball rolling.

"I do." Kaidan raised his hand from the couch as Ashley and James took a seat on the couch adjacent to the one Kaidan was on.

"Not now Kaidan." Joker shook his head harder taking a seat next to his son.

"You two stowed away on the Normandy and during the middle of a reconnaissance mission you two come storming out to help ultimately ruining the mission." Shepard stated pushing off from her desk circling the two teenagers. "What the hell were you think? You are minors! Do you have any idea what could have happened? What if you had gotten injured-"

"It was a abandoned station in space." Thane interrupted.

"No it wasn't as you learned coming and storming out it was being run by Batarians. You ruined months of work finding those outlaws for Vega and the rest of the Normandy. Do you have any idea what you did?" Shepard threw up her hands shaking her head. "You left the station without telling anyone. It was only so long your brother could pretend to be both of you before it was obvious."

"Two days actually. She got suspicious after noticing both of us were wearing dads old baseball caps." Kaidan interrupted

"Your'e in trouble too for letting them do this." Joker smacked his son on the back of the head.

"Look I know you both want to be out there in space fighting whatever it is your heart desires." Ashley began standing up, "But you need to understand what you did is serious."

"We just wanted to see what it was like." Sarah shrugged.

"They also got caught by Traynor..." Kaidan muttered clearing his throat. The whole room paused and turned to the new Commanding Officer of the Normandy. James unzipped his officer shirt throwing it behind him on the couch. He groaned a little looking room his daughter, the light of his life. James simply shrugged.

"What do you know Kaidan?" Shepard asked turning her attention to her son.

"Kaidan I swear to god..." Thane shook his fist at his brother. But his brother's smile turned into a thin line of a toothless grin and he knew his brother was going to tell.

"Uncle Vegas assistant caught them fucki-"Kaidan never got to finish his sentence. His brother had lunged at him almost slamming into his father who quickly jumped up. Thane swung at his brother but his reflexes kicked in and he dodged the fist as it went hurling into the couch. Kaidan rolled over behind the couch laughing at his brother attempt but not for long. Thane jumped over the couch with just force his boot met his brother's stomach.

"Thane!" Sarah called running over to him only to have her collar grabbed by her mother pulling her away. "Mom this isn't fair!"

"You want to talk fair?" Ashley crossed her arms her eyebrow raised. "How about my daughter sneaking on a military ship with no note or nothing. I have to find out from a vidcomm from your fa-James!" Ashley cried out but it was too late. James was cracking his knuckles headed to the two boys wrestling on the floor. Thane began to glow his biotics kickin in but James yanked both boys by the back of their shirts one with a cut under his eye the other his shirt ripped in the front. Joker grabbed Kaidan by the arm yanking him away from his brother and throwing him in the direction of his mother. Thane however was still in the clutches of James.

"That is my _hermoso angel de una hija _you leech!" James growled his clutch on the boy tightening.

"James I understand you are mad... but killing my son, even though I have one to spare, is not the option. You don't think I am pissed?" Joker asked.

"We" Shepard interrupted as she wiped blood off her sons face. James looked from Joker to the boy in his grasps who hung his head low like a dog with its tail between his legs. James let go of him pushing him toward Joker a sigh of relief from both of them. James turn to his daughter who looked to her father pleading. James turned his head cocking it back to Joker with a grim look, "We leave tomorrow. Your son is no longer allowed to see my daughter." and with that he was out the door.

Sarah began to cry.

* * *

"How come everyone calls you by your last name?" Thane asked back at their home on the station which Shepard had pleaded to be built exactly like Anderson's apartment. He was sitting on the toilet as Shepard took a wet towel to his face cleaning the fight off of himself. "Why don't they just call you-"

"Because." Shepard interrupted smiling, "Some things are habit. I like to think of it as a nickname." Shepard set down the washcloth. Her voice was monotone and she had barley said a full sentence since they had gotten back. She made her way to the kitchen checking on the dinner in the oven setting the timer for five more minutes. When she turned around there was Joker leaning against the kitchen island watching her. He was handsome, handsome since day one.

"Do you remember the day you told me that those two pissants were my kids?" Joker asked watching Shepard grab a head of lettuce from the fridge hovering over her gravy on the stove of the island.

"I believe it was a couple hours before giving birth." Shepard set down the lettuce in the sink letting cold water run over it. "You passed out."

"Do you what I said to you?" He asked leaning his head against her back.

* * *

_Both babies had just finished a good two hours of nothing but crying and pooping. Shepard was safe in her newly built apartment that felt like home like shore leave so long ago. Shepard silently walked down the stairs as quietly as possible. Joker was laying on the couch with no energy left. Shepard collapsed next to them her shirt covered in spit up as she pushed her hair back trying to keep her eyes open._

_"I wouldn't go out in public like that." Joker joked opening up his eyes and sitting up._

_"Yeah spit up tends to ruin interviews." Shepard shook her head._

_"No I mean without a bra your breast have gotten huge and they are distracting." Joker admitted this like it was nothing._

_"When do you ship out?" Shepard asked ignoring his comment._

_"Three days. Commander Adams is giving up a couple more days. You can throw me out its okay." Joker tipped his hat to her._

_"You don't have to stay if you don't want to." Shepard pushed off from the couch only to have Joker chase after her. She only got to the kitchen before he grabbed her by the wrist. "I threw this on you." Shepard looked down her hair filled with spit up and sweat hung over her face. Jokers face softened as he tightened his grip on her wrist. _

_"Shepard I have lost a lot in the past couple months. I've lost EDI and hell I almost lost you again. I'm not saying marry me Shepard. Hell I'm not even date me. But, I wanna be here for them when I can be. It won't be perfect they got huge shoes to fill especially with me. It will be hard and there will be mistakes and things will happen. It won't be easy but I will help you. I want to be here for them and for you."_

* * *

"And it only took me five years to get you to agree to go on a date with me." Joker beamed. Shepard had finished cutting up the lettuce and throwing it in a bowl. Shepard's face was still solemn her mind was off somewhere else again.

"Do you think we did something wrong?" Shepard turned to Joker crossing her arms over her chest. "Do you think Thane left because of me?" she asked.

"No, I think he left because he and Sarah just wanted to see action. They thought sneaking on board a ship was a good idea. He is headstrong like his mother." Joker put his hand on her shoulder reassuring her. 'You know how badly that kid wants to enlist. All he has talked about since he wanted to explore find new things. Javick use to be his favorite toy. All that information Liara would give him I started to think he would rather live with her on Illium with Feron."Joker lifted up Shepard's chin having her eyes meet with his. "That boy has wanted to take the galaxy and make it his because of you. That isn't a bad thing."

Shepard pulled her chin away from his hand and moved past him to the over. She grabbed her oven mitts and pulled out a small bird from the oven covered in rosemary, potatoes, carrots, and celery. She put it on the island taking a seat on the barstool as Joker took his place carving the bird. Shepard watched him with a smile growing on her face, Joker always did everything to check up on her. He always took time when the boys were younger to visit, bring them gifts and be apart of their lives. When she finally agreed to start dating him it had felt right, she started realizing she hadn't forced him to settle down it was his choice. He wanted to be there because he loved her and their sons.

"Kaidan gets into trouble too." Shepard reminded him.

"What happened?" Joker asked unsurprised.

"He hacked into another students personal terminal that was attempting to bully him so that he could blackmail him." Shepard rubbed her fingers over her temples.

Joker set down the knife and let out a large sigh, "I wonder where he learned that." His eyes moved from the dinner to Shepard. "He has so much potential. Thane is so brilliant with his mind and what he can uncover and Kaidan has well..."

"His father in him." Shepard interrupted. Thane was brilliant, he fascination with other species and the galaxy was who he was. He was always exploring, looking for new things even if it meant hacking into terminals with the help of his brother for galactic information. Thane always meant good, for the good of the galaxy, he would say in defense when he got caught. He wanted to save everyone, use his information to make the galaxy better. His Biotics was what made him a good fighter, but it was Kaidan who could really hold his own.

Kaidan could fight with whatever you threw at him and he could un arm any enemy. He was quick on his feet and even though he didn't have biotics he was better suited for fighting. He was a leader to, it had always been like that since the boys were younger with their friends. When they got caught in a scheme it was Kaidan who made the plan he had always been a leader, the one with a speeches before war. He had a smart mouth and spoke his mind and was cocky like his father. He took after Joker too, learning how to fly anything that could. He was 12 when he had stolen a shuttle hacking it just for a joyride. Both boys had been trouble but at the same time both parents wouldn't help but be impressed. Thane had helped scientist and even Liara with no many new discoveries at such a young age he was a fascination to them. Scientist came to him in the school seeking a childs help. Liara would have probably kept him when making new Prothean discoveries if he didn't need to finish his schooling. Kaidan the same always 'fighting the good fight' he would say. He wanted to fight for Alliance and become the best solider for Earth and humans that he could be. At a young age he had impressed Miranda with his skills telling Shepard he reminded her of Shepards days at Cerberus. Both boys had made them proud that was something Shepard needed to remind herself.

"They are a handful." Shepard said putting her hand over Joker's.

"Yes well, they have galactic heroic galaxy saving parents. We should be glad they aren't boring." Joker leaned his head against hers.

Kaidan hand his feet hanging over the balcony his arms rested on the bars as his brother came and joined him. They sat in silence for a moment listening to their parents speak to eachother the sounds of dishes moving and pots banging.

"I didn't even tell you I was leaving." Thane turned to his brother.

"Well you fucking run off with your girlfriend and sneak on the Normandy without me. Of course I am going to find out. Of course I hacked any messages coming in and out of that ship. Why did you go without me?" Kaidan asked not looking away from the downstairs living room.

"You always get in trouble Kaidan. You're a renegade-"

"And you're a paragon which is why Mom is so surprised I am not the one on the ship fucking Vegas daughters." Kaidan replied punching his brother in the shoulder.

"Don't say it like that it isn't just some girl. I'm not you out their breaking every heart there is." Thane punched back. "What are they talking about?" he asked.

"Mom wonders is she raised us wrong Dad keeps making jokes trying to tell her they didn't. Also she thinks you left because she did something wrong but Mom always blames herself." Kaidan shrugged.

"Do you always listen to their conversations?" Thane asked a little annoyed, "Ever thought about giving them privacy?"

"They lost privacy when they had us." Kaidan waved his brother off.

"Maybe we should be good for awhile? Keep mom and dad out of trouble with the council with out stuff?" Thane gave his brother a cheesy smile.

"You're the one that caused all this shit." Kaidan pushed his brother shoving him over.

"Hey you two! Dinner!" Joker shouted from downstairs.

To Be Continued.


	12. End

I have decided to move this chapter and all upcoming to a new story you can find it here at my story titled 'The Kids are Alright' thank you for all your amazing support


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